This is silly.  I know.  Cope.
	Voiceover is like ]this[

#include "stddisclaimer.h"

				  No Title,
				      Or
			How I Became a Vampire Slayer
				      By
			       W. Suika Roberts


-

	]I remember when I was called.[

	A pretty girl of asian features wakes, eyes opening as she sits up,
the blanket sliding down her chest.  She's in a very traditional Japanese
room, tatami floor, futon rolled out not quite in one corner.

	]I woke as a girl.  That wasn't odd.[

	`Oyaji's not here,' she says, standing, her boxer shorts swishing as
she walks a short distance.  She pulls on her pants, and a shirt with a row of
wooden frogs down the front goes over her tank top.

	]The odd thing was the urgency, the sense that I needed to be out, in
the dark, fighting something.[

	She opens the window, and easily jumps to the ground, glances left and
right, then runs across the large, for a Japanese house, garden, and leaps the
wall in a single bound.

	]Not that fighting something would be odd, but I didn't tend to go
looking for trouble, before I was called.[

	`Ranma!  How dare you go slinking off to somewhere when Akane's inside
heartbroken?' a young man's voice yells.

	]It always found me just fine.[

	`Ryouga!  How are you?  Haven't seen you since the wedding!' the girl,
Ranma, calls, her dark pigtail swirling about as she spins towards the voice.

	]Hibiki Ryouga thinks he's my enemy.  I consider him one of my best
friends, still, and a good sparring partner.[

	`I've been looking for you!  You keep running away!'

	]Ryouga doesn't have much of a sense of direction.  He can get lost in
a round room with one door.  An empty round room.[

	`Same routine as normal, get up, spar, go to school, come home, mope
about.  Hardly call that running away.'

	]The moping wouldn't have been normal before the wedding attempt.
And it wouldn't last much longer, but I didn't know that yet.[

	`Then how come you are never home, or at school, or at any of your
girls' places when I get there?'

	]My girls.  Hardly.  Two arranged fiancees.  One self-declared wife.
One "slightly cracked, not broken but not really servicable," to maul a really
nice quote, girl who decided she had to have me.[

	`Because you have no sense of direction, and I've not been to visit
any of the others since then.'

	]My would-be sister-in-law sold invitations to the other three suitors
when our parents finally attempted a wedding.  The thing disolved into a
rather fun little brawl, Ryouga and the rest of Akane's fan club helping make
things lively.  The only thing that really pissed me off was the cask of
nanniichuan.  The thing that I've been moping about is that Akane was really
happy it didn't happen.[

	`Arrgh!' Ryouga yells, and charges.

	]Ryouga also doesn't have the best control on his temper.[

	Ranma kicks him in the side, then continues in the direction she
was going, `I've got something I need to take care off, feel free to follow
along.'

	]The way he winced when I kicked him would have clued me in that
something was different, but I wasn't paying attention.  I think he could get
hit by a car and not notice.[

	`Ranma!' Ryouga yells.

	Ranma smiles, and sprints off, her pace stretching out, quickly
reaching twelve meters a stride.  Ryouga keeps up fairly easily.

	]And then I reached what woke me.[

	She slides to a stop, startling the pair menacing a young woman.

	They spin, then smile.  One of them says, `Oh, a slayer!  I haven't
seen one for a long time!'

	The other's smile falters, `You ran away last time, and dragged me
with you.'

	`Slayer?' Ranma queries.

	]This was the first time I'd ever seen a vampire, or heard of the
Slayer.  It wouldn't be the last.[

	`The Vampire Slayer.  One girl,' the one who'd spoken first says, `In
all the world, chosen to fight the vampires, demons, and evils of the world,'
he frowns, `I mauled that.  Oh well, prepare to die, girlie,' and his face
changes, brow ridges getting more pronounced, eyes turning color, and the rest
of his face scrunching up as his canine teeth grow.

	]Game face is just such a giveaway, really.  Poor things never knew
what hit them.[

	Ranma charges forward, grabs one by the head, and pulls, twisting
slightly, as if she was going to throw him.  A soft crack sounds, and the
vampire turns to ash on the way to the ground.

	]I'd not fought a normal person in so long that I'd forgotten how
fragile they were.  Vampires are sturdier, but not that much.[

	She blinks, and the other vampire takes the oportunity to try and bite
her.  He gets within centimeters before she spins, slamming a fist into his
chest.  Both stare in shock for a moment, then he turns to ash as well.

	]My first vampire-burn.  Definately not the last.[

	She shakes her hand.

	`What was that?' both the woman and Ryouga ask at once.

	`I don't know.'

	]I went back to bed, wondering who I could ask.[

	Sunlight fills Ranma's room, showing that her dark hair is the bright,
shiny red of fresh spilled arterial blood.  Her eyes open, a brilliant saphire
blue, and she yawns, boyishly, one hand stretching up, the other over her
mouth.

	]In the morning it was obvious.  I only knew two sane people with a
lot of arcane knowledge, and one of them had vanished a few months before,
well, nearly a year.[

	A restraunt, "Neko Han Ten" in kanji on the sign.  Ranma steps through
the door.

	`Airen!' a cheery voice calls, and a buxom young woman, taller than
Ranma, grabs her into a hug, her pale lavender hair framing a very pretty
face.

	]Shanpuu, my self-declaired wife.  I beat her in one little
tournament, and she chased me across China.  Twice.[
	
	`Is the old bat here?'

	]You've met Cologne.  She's Shanpuu's grandmother.  I didn't know she
was a watcher, then.[

	`Yes, son-in-law?' she hops out into the front room, then stops,
stares, then hops up to Ranma, and suddenly Ranma is holding her gnarled cane,
`So you have been Chosen.  There is much I must teach you, now.'

	]And that's how I got my watcher.  The western council tried to
override her, but the eastern council has much better resources than the
western, at least since the early 1900s, when they finally started to embrace
technology after losing another slayer, first to the western council, then to
death.[

	`So, I'm a magical girl, but I don't even get a flashy transformation
sequence, and I'm gonna get killed before I'm twenty-five.'

	`Most likely.  Only four slayers in recorded history have made it to
forty.'

	`Oh?  And how old did they get?'

	`One made it to fifty.'

	`How nice.'

	]Didn't realize that it messed with the curse, yet.  I hadn't even
noticed the change to my hair color.  It used to be more of a cherry red.[

	`And you're the mascot?'

	`Mascot?'

	`Yeah, the little talking animal that helps the hero,' Ranma says,
then is holding Cologne's staff in her hand again.

	]Haven't you ever seen a magical girl anime?  They've always got some,
generally cute, little talking animal to help them.  Cologne is so cute, in a
wrinkled apple-doll sort of way.[

	`Shanpuu can't marry you.'

	`Why?'

	]For having wanted to hear that for so long, it really hurt.[

	`None of us can marry a slayer.  If a married warrior is called the
marriage is annulled.'

	`Why?' Ranma's voice is getting shaky.

	`A pregnant slayer is a dead slayer.  A slayer in top form is unlikely
to live long enough to see a child weaned.'

	`Oh,' Ranma says, `But I'm a boy.'

	`The law makes no distinction about it,' Cologne smiles, shaking her
head.

	`And even if it did, I'm unlikely to live long enough to raise a
child, which is why I'd be married to her anyway, right?'

	`Even though you are the greatest student I've ever had, I don't know
how long it will take for something to come along and kill you.  I don't want
to see her hurt like that.'

	]Well, I hope we'll live a damned long time.  There's three of us, so
we should be more than a mat--{sound of knuckles rapping on something firm but
slightly padded, perhaps a skull}[

	`I'll hit up our contacts for support.  For now, take this,' Cologne
hands Ranma a pointy stick, about as long as her forearm, and as wide as the
length of her thumb.

	`And I stick this through their hearts, right?'

	`Exactly.'

	`Or break their necks, or pull their hearts out.'

	`You can cut their heads off, too.'

	`OK.  What are they?'

	`They were people.  Another vampire drained them, then fed them their
blood, and they came back as vampires.'

	`Oh,' Ranma stares at the stake in her hand, `Do I have to kill them
if they ain't doing anything wrong?'

	`They're probably just between victims.'

	`Aren't there any good ones?'

	`Not that I know of.'

	`OK.'

	]I said it like I meant it, but I didn't, then.  I still don't.  If
they behave, and don't kill people, I'm perfectly willing to let them continue
to exist.  We know of two, right?  It's a start.[

	`Hey,' Ranma greets a young woman, her dark hair bobbed at her
shoulders, when she walks into the living room of a house.

	]The Tendou house was home for two years.  Longer than I'd spent in a
single place since I could remember.[

	`Where have you been?' the girl's brown eyes flash agrily.

	`Nekohanten,' Ranma says, `talking with the old bat.  Ain't gonna
marry Shanpuu, now.'

	`What?' her anger suddenly fades.

	`Turns out I'm some sort of magical girl, and no Chinese Amazon can
marry me now.'

	`Magical girl?'

	`Yeah, the Vampire Slayer.  I kill zombies and demons and stuff.'

	`How did this happen?'

	`The previous one died,' Ranma looks at the other girl, `I don't think
. . . You need to know that slayers don't tend to live very long, Akane.  Most
of us don't make it to twenty-five.'

	`Twenty-five?' Akane whimpers.

	]I think that's when she gave up on me, totally.  I wonder if she had
already decided not to go through with it before this, and this just gave her
the excuse she needed.  Maybe she'll tell me someday.  If she ever forgives me
for Kasumi.[

	A shrill, piercing shriek cuts through the house.  Feet pound to a
sliding door, and throw it open.

	Ranma, naked and wet, sits facing away as Akane and two other young
women step into the room.  One of the girls is a little taller, her hair
bobbed at her chin.  The other is taller still, her long brown hair tied
loosely to one side.

	`I didn't change,' Ranma says.

	`Could it be something to do with being the Slayer?'

	`I don't know!' Ranma whines, loudly.

	`It will be OK, whatever happens,' the tallest girl says, and wraps
the slight woman in her arms.

	Ranma twists, and sobs against her shoulder.

	]I don't think I ever broke down so far in front of them, before or
since.  If it hadn't been for Kasumi, I don't know what would have happened.[

	`Let's try again, OK?'

	Ranma nods, and Kasumi scoops out a bit of bathwater, which she pours
over the smaller girl.  The water splashes everywhere, but most of it goes
over Ranma first, and she turns into a black-haired young man, just a little
taller than Kasumi.

	`So, that worked,' Kasumi smiles.

	`Yeah,' Ranma smiles back, staring, then his steel grey eyes drop,
pass over the wet front of Kasumi's dress, then close tight.

	They pop open again, once more a clear saphire in a more rounded face.
`No.  Why did I change?'

	Kasumi blushes, `What were you thinking about when you changed?'

	`I wasn't . . . '

	`You were looking at my breasts, then you closed your eyes, and turned
into a girl.  The room really isn't cool enough to explain why your nipples
are so nice and hard.'

	`So getting excited turns me into a girl,' Ranma scowls, `Bet a
goendama that being in danger, scared, or pissed off turns me into a girl,
too.'

	]Turns out that I can stay a guy if I'm pissed, but that was little
consolation by then.[

	`At least you're a pretty one,' Kasumi says, and leans forward, and
lays a gentle kiss on the smaller woman's lips.

	]I think that was my first real kiss.  All of the others invoved tape,
one partner being passed out, or the time I got kissed by a masher at the
skating rink.  It was definately the first one I counted.[

	Ranma sits, blinking, as Kasumi gets to her feet and walks from the
room, sliding the door closed behind her.

	]That was hardly the most suprising thing I found out that day.[

	`You're the Slayer,' a tall young woman, her black hair tied in a
ponytail on the side of her head, says, straightening up.  She steps closer to
Ranma, who looks nervous.

	`Kodachi!  I haven't seen you for a while,' Ranma nearly stutters.

	`I've always wanted to kiss a slayer.  One saved my mother's life in
L.A., when I was seven,' Kodachi wraps her long fingers around Ranma's face,
then leans in, and kisses her, softly, gently, with tongue.

	Ranma stands, swaying, when Kodachi breaks the kiss.

	`You aren't the one I should be thanking, but she's dead, and you'll
save someone else who needs it,' Kodachi kisses her again, and Ranma's eyes
close.

	]Kodachi is the one I described as `not broken, but unserviceable.'
She'd been chasing my boy form and getting into fights with my girl form for
years, nearly since I first got to Nerima that last time.  Not two weeks later
I saw her courting my other arranged fiancee, with much more tact and
gentleness than she'd ever displayed towards me.  It was downright shocking.[

	`Ranma,' Akane says, softly.

	`Yes?'

	`I don't think,' she pauses, shakes her head, starts again, `I don't
think I can marry you.'

	Ranma swallows, hard, then pauses a long while before speaking, her
voice rough, `Why?'

	`I,' she pauses, `I think I love you,' she pauses again, `and,' pause,
`I don't want to see you die.  I don't like to see you hurt,' she pauses
again, `And I hurt you, distract you,' she closes her eyes, bends her head,
shakes it, `I'll get you killed.'

	]Nothing I said could dissuade her.  I think she'd been feeling like
that for a while, since before Saffron.  The goddling I killed, remember?  She
told our parents, and that was that.  They tried to switch the engagement, but
none of us would have it.[

	`Here, you will have a use for this, I'm sure,' Kasumi hands Ranma a
box.  The box is flat, maybe five centimeters thick, twenty deep, thirty long.

	Ranma opens it, and gasps.  Inside is an M1911a1 semiautomatic pistol,
and a couple ten-round magazines for it.  With a shaking hand Ranma picks one
of the magazines up, and looks at the bullet on top.  It is a brass-jacketed
hollowpoint.

	`How?  Where?' Ranma asks.

	`You don't need to know.  I have eight more clips, and eighty more
rounds in them.  Take that to your watcher, see if she can help you make that
work better on what you need to kill,' Kasumi says this softly, a caring look
on her face.

	`Thank you,' Ranma says, putting the magazine back in the box and
shutting it.  She sets it aside, wraps her fingers in Kasumi's loosely bound
hair, and pulls the taller woman down, pressing their lips together.

	Kasumi guides them over to the bed, pressing Ranma backwards onto it,
caressing the smaller woman, who returns the favor, wrapping her legs around
the taller woman's waist. 

	]Up to this point I'd been out a few times, done a few sweeps, killed a
couple dozen vamps.  Japanese cremate their dead, so we don't have as many
vampires, but I still got a few.  I'd felt it, the "hungry and horny" after
slaying, but I hadn't really realized what it was until after Kasumi took me to
bed with her.  I'm really glad she was my first, she was so gentle, so
thorough, I felt like I wouldn't be able to move for days when we were done.[

	`So, Kasumi gave me this,' Ranma tells Cologne, proffering the box,
`Might not want to open it in the front room.'

	Cologne takes the box, and smiles a wrinkled smile, `An em nineteen
eleven alpha one, with two ten round clips and hollowpoints.  A very nice gift
for a slayer.'

	`You gotta teach me how you do that,' Ranma says, `Kasumi's got another
eight full clips for it.'

	`How did she get this?'

	`She said I didn't want to know,' Ranma smiles, a new soft smile.

	`Well, I guess it worked better than flowers would have,' the old woman
says with a knowing smile.

	`Almost anything would have worked, I think,' Ranma's smile doesn't
falter.

	`Anything?  My great grandaughter tried many things.'

	`I didn't trust her,' Ranma's smile goes crooked, `And I think if
Kasumi hadn't been so blatent, I wouldn't have noticed.  I'm not the most
socially adept person.'

	`You wouldn't have said that a week ago.'

	`No, I guess not,' Ranma frowns.

	]After I pondered that for a little bit she showed me the secret blend
of sawdust, eleven herbs and spices, and six different oils to pack into the
tip of each round, sealing each with a drop of wax.[

	`We've found you a governmental sponsor,' Cologne says, dropping a
sheet of paper on the table.
	
	Ranma picks it up, `This is in Juban.'

	`Yep.  Apparently the Dark Kingdom ambasador's mansion is one,' she
smiles.

	]You know the Dark Kingdom.  Took over Manchuria as a Chinese
protectorate, back in '94.  Subverted North Korea, and put in a native viceroy
in '96.  The viceroy unilaterally ended the Korean War in '99.  Currently
they're working on Cuba, South-East Asia, and several countries in Africa.
They also sign my paychecks, remember?[

	Ranma rings a doorbell, standing in a non-descript apartment building
hallway.

	`Come in,' a female voice calls.

	Ranma opens the door, `That isn't as safe as it could be.'

	`Safe enough,' the voice's owner turns out to be a young woman, short
dark blue hair framing a soft face.

	Ranma glances around the room, noting two young women and a young man
on the couch, none of them looking over thirty.  The blonde woman is looking
into a heart-shaped locket.

	She looks up, `She's real.  Megumi!'

	`Yes?' a voice answers through a speaker.

	`Prep Ranma's packet.  Full concealed carry, badge, training.'

	`Gotcha.  Welcome to the family, Saotome Ranma-chan,' the voice says
warmly.

	`Who is that?' Ranma asks.

	`Megumi.  Head of Child Protective Services,' the blue-haired girl
answers, `This is Queen Serenity,' she indicates the blonde, `her consorts
Endymion,' the young man, `and Sailor Mars,' the black-haired woman, `I'm
Sailor Mercury.'

	`Wow.'

	]It isn't every day one meets such scary people.  Not that they are
personally scary, but the papers paint them as "the greatest threat to
Democracy the world has ever known."  Of course, the Communist papers don't
like them either.[

	`Read these, you'll have a test on them tomorrow,' Sailor Mercury hands
me three thickish paperbound books, `And, as Megumi said, welcome to the
family.'
 
	]I never was the best scholar, so I turned to my new source for all
things I needed to know as a Slayer.[

	`Old Bat!  Help!'

	`What is it?' she hops out into the front room.

	`I've got to read these by tomorrow.  I have a test on them.'

	She looks at the books Ranma holds out, `Child Protective Services
Standard Operating Proceedures.  That's very good, better than I expected.'

	`What do you mean?'

	`CPS is much better than I expected.  I thought you'd be put in
External Affairs.'

	`External Affairs is?'

	`What it sounds like.  Limited by treaty, however.  All of the Dark
Kingdom treaties were signed about at the same time, and CPS was their
loophole.  `All authority and restrictions,' or some such.'

	`Why's that so good?'

	`In the Dark Kingdom CPS agents answer to their director, and she
answers to Queen Serenity.'

	`Which is important why?'

	`Think James Bond, and you get an idea of the kind of shit Special
Agents can pull without reprimand.  If you're a normal agent, you don't have
the same range of discretion, but you still have far more freedom than any
normal government agent.'

	`So I need to pass this test, right?'

	`Definately.  Read them to Shanpuu.  That will help seat them in your
head, and answering her questions will help you know the answers yourself.'

	`OK,' Ranma says, dubiously.

	`You'll see, after the tests tomorrow,' she turns, `Shanpuu!  I need
you in back, with Ranma.'

	`Yes, great grandmother!' the young woman says happily.

	]Never woulda thunk it, but it worked.  The tests were easy.[

	`Here you go, Ranma-chan,' the young woman with long, pale blue hair
says, handing over a thick packet of documents.

	`Thanks, Mizuno-san.  How did I do?'

	`Much better than most.  The first tests are mostly about
determination, and you showed that you have more than enough to be a wonderful
agent.  The next two months will give you the experience and language skills
you need to be a CPS Special Agent, and your martial arts skills and
slayerness will cover the rest,' she pulls out another stack of paper-bound
books, `Read these for the day after tomorrow.'

	Ranma scowls, `I will.'

	`Don't scowl so,' she smiles, `A pretty girl like you must have study
partners.'

	`Yeah, that's how I got through today.  My throat's still a little
sore, however.'

	`You read some of these out loud?  How many people did you have
reading?'

	`All of them, and I did it myself.'

	She blinks, `Wow.'

	`Umi-chan,' the young woman who introduced herself as Sailor Mercury
says, `How'd Ranma-kun do?'

	`Wonderfully, Ami-chan,' she leans up, and gives the shorter, but
standing, woman a kiss.

	Ranma blushes.

	`Oh, we didn't do this part of the introductions, did we?' Ami says,
`This is my wife, Mizuno Umi, and I'm Mizuno Ami.'

	`Is she a magical girl, too?' Ranma asks, suddenly curious.

	`Unfortunately, yes,' Umi answers.

	]Never did find out what she meant by "Unfortunately."[

	`So, more stuff to go over.  You willing?'

	`Sure.'

	]And the next day.[

	`Here you go,' Ami says, handing Ranma a packet of papers, and a box.

	Ranma hefts the box, then sets the packet of papers down, and opens
it.

	`Wow,' she says, looking down at the pair of mother-of-pearl handled
.45 Colt automatic pistols.  Each grip is inset with a golden crescent moon.
She pulls one out, works the blued steel slide, peers into the chamber, `Nice.
Now I've three,' she smiles, and drops the slide.  She drops the hammer
gently.

	`Three?'

	`Yeah, a friend gave me one, earlier.'

	`That is fortunate.  Let's get the shoulder-holsters adjusted for
you,' Ami says, pulling out a collection of nylon webbing and stiffened fabric.

	`Doesn't look like a normal shoulder holster,' Ranma says, stretching
the fabric panel between the two holsters.

	`It isn't,' Ami says, then reaches back, over her shoulder, and pulls
out a .45 that matches the ones she just gave Ranma.

	`Why this style?' Ranma asks, thinking about the disadvantages.

	`When one transforms into a combat uniform, normal shoulder holsters
just vanish with one's clothes.  These don't, and are reachable through the
neck of our suits.  They aren't terribly inconvienient for normal people, so.'

	`You hand them out to all Dark Kingdom people, to help mask who are
magical girls, and who aren't.'

	`Yeah.  What's with the magical girl fixation?'

	`Just never thought I'd be one.'

	`That's right, Cologne said you're a boy.'

	`Some of the time, now.'

	`That must have been a shock.'

	`Yeah, it really was quite a kick in the balls,' Ranma smiles.

	Ami makes a crooked face.

	Ranma picks up the folded leather wallet from the middle of the box,
and opens it.

	Inside is a badge, with English on little scrolls "Dark Kingdom,"
and "Child Protective Services."  Inside a small rounded oblong is "Special
Agent," and in an oval under that, the number "007."

	`Wow,' Ami says, `English is your native language?'

	`First one I learned to read, why?'

	`The spells are supposed to chose one's native language for the
text.'

	`So if you look at it, it will be in Japanese?'

	`No, it locks when someone sees it.  Close it up, and let me see
it before you look at it.'

	Ranma does, and this time the writing is in Japanese, a mix of
kana and kanji.

	`Posh,' Ranma says, `How many languages does it do?'

	`Only about forty.'

	`That's better'n me.'

	`The papers are your training schedule.  For the next two months
you'll get on the job training in your duties as a CPS special agent,
and the main languages you'll need -- English, Chinese, both Mandarin
and Cantonese, Japanese, and Korean.'

	`I already know English, Japanese, and Cantonese, so will I need
to do those?'

	`If you already know them, you won't need to undergo the formal
training, but you will have to use them.'

	`That's cool.  Anything else, Mizuno-san?'

	`That's it, Ranma-kun.  I hope you do as well in your on-the-job
as you have in the written.'

	`So do I,' Ranma smiles.

	Ami smiles back, `Let's just get that shoulder harness adjusted,
then I can show you your concealed carry permits, and then you can be on
your way.'

	`Thanks.' 

	`Take off your shirt,' Ami says.

	Ranma blinks, then does, revealing that she is only wearing a
tank top under it.  Ami blinks, then steps closer, holding the complex
of webbing and holsters.

	`Clip these in front,' she hands the clips to Ranma, rather than
reach around and connect them herself, `And these,' another set, `And
these,' final set, `Now let's just tighten these up,' she pulls the
straps tighter, first the ones between the holsters, then across the
shoulders, then the three pairs that cross Ranma's chest.

	`Turn, bounce, whatever, and see if they bind,' Ami says.

	`Right,' Ranma first holsters both pistols, then does a little
running in place, bounces about the room, stands on her head, then rolls
to her feet, `Seems good.'

	`Then let's just tape the excess, and you can put your shirt
back on.'

	`Sure.'

	A few strips of black tape bundle the extra lengths of webbing, then
Ranma is putting on her shirt, and Ami is digging through the papers.

	`This is your Japanese Concealed Carry permit.  You must have it
at all times, they will stop you and ask you for it frequently.'

	`Of course,' Ranma takes the laminated card.

	`China,' another card, `Mongolia,' another card, `South
Korea,' another card, `California,' another card, `United States
Federal,' another card, `Taiwan,' another card, `We can't just print you
one for Great Britain, Isreal, or Germany, but those should be along
shortly.'

	`Wow,' Ranma flips through the stack of cards in her hands,
`What do I do if I shoot someone?'

	`You planning to?' Ami smiles, `Call us, we'll take care of it.
Oh!' she gasps, `Almost forgot, your leash,' and she pulls out a small
cel phone, handing it over as well.

	`Do I wear it around my neck?'

	`Only if you want to.  Keep it with you, and keep it charged.'

	`Gotcha.'

	]At the time, I didn't quite understand what she meant by leash.
It didn't take me too long to figure it out.[

	`So,' Ranma says, softly, `This is good-bye.'

	`Yes,' Kasumi says, also softly, `Thank you,' and she wraps the
smaller girl into a tight hug.

	`No, thank you, this would have been so much harder without you,'
Ranma says, going up on her toes, then pressing her lips to Kasumi's.

	After a few minutes they break the kiss, and Ranma speaks again, `You
sure you can't come with me?'

	`Yes,' Kasumi replies, `I love you, but . . . '

	`You have obligations,' Ranma sighs, and rests her head against
Kasumi's chest.

	`And you need someone who can go with you on patrol, and keep you
safe.'

	`Just knowing you are here, and safe, is enough,' Ranma disagrees, `If
that's what's keeping you from coming with me . . . '

	`Not entirely, just one of many.  I can't leave the house, or Akane,
or Father.  None of them will hold up without me.'

	]Akane might, but the other two would be in ruins if it wasn't for
her.[

	`But I want you for myself,' Ranma whines, softly.

	`That would be nice, but it can't happen,' Kasumi says, then draws
Ranma's chin up, and kisses her again.

	`RANMA!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING!'

	]And that, most unfortunately, was when Akane found out.  So we had a
row, and then I left Japan for Korea, not swimming this time.  Too much
baggage.[

	`Do I really need all this,' Ranma stares at the piles of bags,
`Stuff?'

	`Yes.  Being CPS trainers and and trainees,' a tall woman, her blonde
hair utterly disheveled, says, `We can carry on the plane, but we still need
clothes and sundries.'

	`Prima's right,' her partner, shorter, dark-haired, says, `Besides, I
think Sayoko has the most luggage.'

	`Nagisa!' the other trainee whines.

	Ranma shakes her head, and adjusts the katana slung across her back.

	]Of course, the fact that three of the party weren't martial artists
was the big deterent.  Sayoko'd already been mostly trained, and this trip was
just a chance for her mothers to make sure that they hadn't missed anything
before she got her badge.  I was the main focus.[

	`Miss,' the young airline steward says, gently, `Could you please put
the sword up?  We're about to take off.'

	Ranma smiles, `Won't fit in the overhead bins, or I'd have put it
there.  Don't worry, it won't escape,' she tugs at the hilt, showing that it
is tied into the scabbard.

	`Thank you, miss,' he says, and walks on.

	Cologne laughs, softly, from the seat next to her.

	`So, why are we going through Inchon, anyway, if we're not gonna
swim?'

	`Pyongyang still doesn't have facilities to land a 747.  And it is
considered a good idea to show trainees what it is like to live somewhere
where they try to control weapons.'

	`Doesn't living in Japan do that already?'

	`Not all CPS trainees come from Japan.  Most of them are actually Dark
Kingdom natives, now, or from places like the US, where controls are more lax.
Japan isn't as tight about weapons as South Korea.  Make sure you don't take
your arm-band off, or let it get covered, or the KNP will happily shoot you,
then pretend to be upset about their "mistake."'

	`KNP?'

	`Korean National Police.  The ones you see on the TV with the bokutou,
beating on people.'

	`Oh.  They carry guns, too?'

	`Not all of them, just enough to make it unsafe.'

	`Huh.  Guns and swords?'

	`And knives.  Anything over about eight cm.'

	`Good grief.'

	]Inchon Airport.  I'd never gotten so many stares for carrying
before.[

	`Mommy, is that a policeman?' a little girl asks in Korean, pointing
in Ranma's direction.

	`She's CPS, dear, they can carry whatever they like.  They're like
police, but their job is to protect all the children of the world.'

	`Wow,' and she smiles.

	]The shuttle to Seoul was interesting, too, and the train ride to the
JSA, Joint Security Area, in the DMZ.[

	`Hadn't spent enough time in public to realize how big a hassle South
Korea is,' Shanpuu grumbles in Cantonese, pulling out her papers to show the
KNP officer who asked for the entire groups'.

	`Yeah, but at least you're not so obviously carrying,' Ranma replies
in the same language.  Prima, Nagisa, Sayoko, and her had each been hit up for
their papers three times for each time the others had.

	`This permit for swords and firearms,' the officer says, in not
entirely bad Japanese.

	`Right,' Shanpuu says, and holds out her sword.  It is nearly a meter
long, straight-bladed, with a large red tassle on the hilt, and had been
utterly invisible until she held it out.

	`You've got to teach me how to do that,' Ranma tells Cologne.

	`Her father taught her that.  She won't teach it,' Cologne sounds
agrieved.

	Ranma makes a face.

	The sword vanishes, and Shanpuu holds out an assult rifle.

	The KNP officer nods, and the rifle disappears again.

	]That was in Seoul, when we stopped at the Iteawan shopping district.
The JSA was simple.[

	`CPS, returning,' Prima tells the UN commander, a US Army Captain,
`Prima Gray, Nagisa Gray, Mizutani Sayoko, Saotome Ranma, and guests.'

	`Sign in,' he says, and pushes a book over the desk.

	Everyone signs.

	`Thank you,' he says, `I wonder when the South will admit the war is
over?'

	`Couldn't tell you,' Nagisa says, then hoists her duffles, her ruck
already on her back.

	`Yeah, but this job has really changed since you guys took over,' he
waves to the village on the other side of the border, which is a bustling
little tourist-trap place.

	]Before the Dark Kingdom took over, it was a ghost town, nothing there
but cameras, the North Korean flag, and soldiers with binoculars watching the
UN station.  Now it is more open than the South Korean side, with tourists
visiting the border, food sellers, permanently stationed people.[

	`Have a nice day,' Sayoko calls cheerily, and waves.

	`You too!,' the captain yells back.

	The party steps over the border, and are instantly accosted by happy
tourists, a group of new commissioned officers, just-issued submachine guns
slung at their sides.

	One girl, _maybe_ nine, smiles and waves, her right hand resting
possessively over her M3A2's ejection port cover.  The rest of the group
waves, too, when they see who Ranma's party are.

	Ranma walks up to the group, and returns the girl's salute.

	Ranma drops to one knee in front of the young woman, `Been an adult
long?' she asks, in Japanese.

	The girl frowns, then replies in Mandarin, `Not long.  I passed my
tests right before OBC, finished Artillery school last week, and our ceremony
was this morning.'

	Ranma smiles, and holds out a hand, `Congratulations, Lieutenant!'

	The girl smiles, and shakes.

	After that, the whole group wants to have their picture taken with
Ranma's party.  Cologne does the honors, snapping several pictures before the
group moves on.

	]I was amazed by how happy the North Koreans were.  I'd been through
in '97 and '98, once each way, and things had been obviously improving, but
the change was still pretty significant.  This is a country that had been
starving to feed its military not five years before, and now everyone has
enough to eat, industry is reviving, controlled privitization is resurrecting
pride in what one does, where people live.

	We walked to the northern border, stopping, talking to people.  Sayoko
really suffered.[

	`We told you we would be walking this stage,' Nagisa says gently.

	`Yes, but I hadn't realized how difficult this would be!' Sayoko
whines.  She's sitting on one of her duffles, the other two on the ground in
front of her, along with her ruck.

	`Gimme one of those,' Ranma says, `The heaviest one.'

	`But,' Sayoko says, `You're so tiny!  The light one weighs as much as
you probably do.'

	`I'm really dense,' Ranma smiles, `and much stronger than a normal
girl,' she picks up the two duffles in front of Sayoko, then the one she's
sitting on, with her still on it.

	Ranma sets Sayoko down, then takes her ruck off, shifts her
sword, and straps one of the other duffles to the bottom of her ruck.

	`There we go,' she says, and swings her ruck back on.

	Sayoko is still staring.

	`What, you thought I was only carrying this much because I'm weak or
something?'

	Sayoko shakes her head.

	`I just believe in packing light.  Makes it easier if one has to
fight.'

	`Right,' Sayoko says, standing up.  She gets her ruck on, then
staggers a little picking up her duffles.

	Shanpuu walks over to her, standing face to face with the taller girl,
and takes her duffles easily, `I'll carry those for a few hours, OK?'

	`You don't have to.'

	`I know that,' Shanpuu steps back, and the little party walks on.

	]We lost Shanpuu a little after that.[

	The party stands on the side of a concrete road, watching a convoy of
tanks roll past.

	The tanks are Dark Kingdom Hond IIIs, almost wider than the road, low
and flat, drivers and commanders head and shoulders out of their hatches.
Each tank has a name painted on the barrel of its gun, and each crewperson has
painted their helmets differently, but it is still hard to tell one from the
next.

	Shanpuu suddenly starts, turns her head to follow one of the tanks,
jaw dropped.  Two more tanks pass, then a broad grin erupts over her face, and
she drops Sayoko's duffles, leaping into motion.

	Ranma follows as she matches speed with the column, and leaps onto the
nearest tank.  The two of them bounce quickly up the line, and Ranma stays
back when they stop, standing at the back edge of the turret.  The tank behind
them is named "Balbeck Belle", and the one they are standing on is "Mountain
Princess".

	Princess's commander pulls herself out of the hatch, a broad grin on
her face under her goggles, black hair spilling over her shoulders, `Laozien,
get us off the road,' she says, `It's clear,' then she disconnects her commo
cable and grabs Shanpuu in a crushing hug.

	Shanpuu starts crying and hugs back.  Ranma looks a little confused,
and sways as the tank makes an abrupt turn, pulling off the road and out of
the convoy, then stops from sixty KPH in less than five hundred meters.

	The motor is cut off as soon as the tank stops, and the driver hops up
onto the turret as the gunner climbs out of the commander's hatch, shedding
her helmet to reveal short-cropped pink hair.

	Shanpuu sees her, and gasps, `Paahuum?'

	The gunner nods, and peels her from the commander's grasp, then twirls
her around before throwing her four meters into the air, with the supple, easy
grace of someone who juggles thirty-kilo tank rounds every morning.

	Ranma turns to the driver, still looking confused.

	The driver has pulled her goggles back, revealing a pretty face, her
blue hair braided down her back.  She smiles, and bows, `Lim Lao Xien,' she
says in Cantonese.

	`Saotome Ranma,' Ranma says, bowing back, `I'm guessing you know
Shanpuu.'

	`She's my cousin,' Lao Xien then indicates the commander, `Li Sai
Fong, Shanpuu's wife,' she either doesn't notice or ignores Ranma's confused
stare and indicates the gunner, `Lim Par Fun, our cousin.'

	`Wife?' Ranma manages after a moment, while Par Fun has sucumbed to
Shanpuu's relentless tickling, and is cowering behind Sai Fong.

	`Well, she paid the bride price, anyway,' Lao Xien spits off the side
of the tank, a disgusted look flitting across her face.

	`Shanpuu's?'

	`Sai Fong's.  Her father was scum, is scum, if he yet lives.  They
were shepherds, and he was gonna marry her off to some evil old man.  Shanpuu
and her had been friends for a long time, so she offered him a better price,
and he threw the wedding.  Drugged the wine, too, but we were there to rescue
them.'

	`When?' Ranma asks.

	]I was shocked.  She'd been happy before, but now, it was like someone
had cleaned a layer of soot off.  You know, like with Grand Central Terminal,
in New York?  You only notice it when it was gone.  She was suddenly as young
as she was, if you get my meaning.[

	`Years ago, we were what, twelve?' Lao Xien pauses, `No, eleven.  Seven
years ago, then.'

	`You!' Shanpuu shouts, and pounces, knocking Lao Xien flat to the
turret of the tank, then kisses her.

	`Hey,' Lao Xien says, tangling her hands in Shanpuu's hair, when the
kiss breaks.

	Sai Fong pouts, `You always kiss her first,' then flops onto Shanpuu's
back.

	Lao Xien gives a faint `Oof,' but doesn't complain.

	Shanpuu rolls, catching Sai Fong as she does so, and then kisses her,
too.

	`Always see her last, so I'm ready by then,' she tells her.  Sai Fong
smiles at that, and Lao Xien rolls her eyes.

	`So are you going to kiss me, or try to tickle me some more?' Par Fun
asks, standing on the edge of the turret.

	`Hmm,' Shanpuu says, rolling over flat on her back, then looking up at
her, `Both.'  She springs somehow straight at the other girl, who leaps
backward off the tank, landing lightly in the cabbage field they had almost
driven into.

	Shanpuu twists in the air, but Par Fun catches her, and pins her
between the rows, face down in the mud.  Shanpuu stops fighting after Par Fun
has kissed her on the back of the neck a few times, but can be heard making
vauge, indistinct, and rather salicious threats.

	]The rest of Sai Fong's platoon pulled off with them, so we had a big
party, and I found out the rest of the story.[

	`I was stupid,' Cologne says bluntly.

	Ranma stares.

	`Yes, I can admit when I make a big enough mistake, particularly after
I've had a few years to think about it,' she smiles, `I thought they were
interfering with their training, hanging out together too much, being too
silly, spending too much time on the sorts of things young girls like to do.'

	Ranma looks confused, `What sorts of things?'

	`Making out, having sex, dressing each other up and doing each other's
hair, play fighting, that sort of thing,' Cologne smiles.

	`Oh,' Ranma manages after a few moments.

	`So, being old enough that I've almost managed to forget what it was
like to be fourteen, I forbid them to see Shanpuu anymore.  I told them that
it was interfering with her training, that it would get her killed, and that
if they didn't I'd stop teaching her.'

	She sighs, `They were gone in the morning.  Shanpuu wouldn't speak to
me for months, didn't even come home for three weeks.  I'd intended for them
to calm down a little, and practice being sneaky,' her hair rustles as she
shakes her head just a little.

	Shanpuu bounces up, `I'm leaving.  They've got a maintenance position
available right now, and I tested well enough that they're willing to
on-the-job me,' she smiles, then opens her arms to Ranma.

	Ranma steps into them, and is enfolded in a bone-crushing hug, `I'll
miss you.'

	`Same here, but it wasn't meant to be, I don't think,' Shanpuu says,
and kisses the smaller girl on the forehead.

	`I'll write, or try to, anyway,' Ranma says.

	`Fourth Platoon Maintenance, Thirteenth Armor, Second Army, Dark
Kingdom,' Shanpuu gives the address.

	`Child Protective Services, Dark Kingdom,' Ranma tells her.

	`I'll try.  Sai Fong used to like to write, so I'll see.'

	`You're horrible!' Ranma says, laughing.

	]Manchuria was like North Korea, only more so.  Happy, hard working
people, good, cheap food, and no real work for us to do, just a little bit of
checking up, the occasional parenting class.[

	`So, where to next?' Ranma asks, smiling, as she sits on her heels,
her ruck still on her back.  

	]We'd been wandering Manchuria for nearly a month, and had covered
most of the area.[

	`Well, I think you're ready to graduate.  Sayoko needs another month,
I fear,' Prima tells me, `She needs some more toughening.'

	`Prima!' Sayoko whines.

	`She's right,' Nagisa tells her.

	`Aww!' Sayoko pouts, but her mothers don't relent.

	]I had a little ceremony, got a paper, and we got tickets here.[

	`Saotome Ranma,' Queen Serenity, dressed in court garb this time,
says.

	`Yes,' Ranma replies.

	Queen Serenity smiles, and Sailor Mars, also in court garb, giggles
behind her hand.  Endymion smirks for a moment, then settles back into a sober
face, to match his ceremonial armor.

	`We are proud to have you as a Child Protective Services Special
Agent.  It is an important task, but you are up to it.  Do us proud.'

	`I will,' Ranma says, standing at parade rest.

	`I know,' Queen Serenity says, then bends over just a little and
kisses the slightly shorter woman on the cheek.

	Ranma's eyes get really big.

	Queen Serenity steps back, and Sailor Mars kisses her on the other
cheek.

	Ranma's eyes get even bigger.

	Sailor Mars steps back, and Endymion gives her a firm hug, pounding
her on the back.

	Ranma breaks out in giggles.

	`Mia will have your papers, and your ticket to Sunnydale, at the door.
Scoot,' Queen Serenity says.

	`Yes, my queen,' Ranma says, a smile on her face.

	`Get,' Queen Serenity orders, obviously playful.

	`Going, going,' Ranma giggles, then flees the room.

	]It was a shock, stepping back into a weapons-controlled environment.
I'd gotten used to carrying the sword and guns and not having anyone notice.
LAX was a shock, people asking for my permits every few minutes, the stares.
Cologne took it in stride, of course.[

	`Get used to it.  Until you've been in an area long enough for all of
the police to get to know you, it'll be like this.'

	`Wish I knew hidden weapons, then,' Ranma says.

	`It might be useful, but I can't teach you what I don't know,' Cologne
says.

	`You can make things appear out of nowhere, though.'

	`Slight of hand, not real hidden weapons.'

	`Ah.  That'd be good, too.'

	`I'm sure it would be.  Later.'

	]Commuter plane to Sunnydale.  More stares.[

	`Mommy, is she a ninja?' a little boy asks.

	`No,' she tells him, `Don't get too close.'

	]Not nearly as nice ones as in South Korea.[

	`We've got reservations at the local motel, until I can find us a
place to live.'

	`Cool.'

	]After the taxi ride there, we found that it wasn't so cool.[

	`Maybe we could stay in a park?'

	`They frown on that sort of thing, here.  We'll drop our stuff off
here, and look for a better place while we get a handle on the supernatural
aspects of the area.'

	`The CPS aspects don't feel too nice, either.'

	`No, they don't.  So you intend to do both of your jobs?'

	`The Dark Kingdom is paying me, so, yeah, I do.'

	`Good,' Cologne smiles.

	]That night I met the Scoobs, and the Buffy-bot.[

	`So that's based on the last slayer?'  Ranma asks, staring.

	`Yes,' the red-haired woman answers, sadly.

	`So,' Ranma says, `You're planning a resurection or something, aren't
you.'

	`How?' the taller blonde woman, who looks tired and sad, asks.

	`Yeah, you've not even been here a day, and you've guessed?' the other
blonde asks.

	`Giles didn't guess,' the young man says.

	`Just a feeling,' Ranma says, `Tonight, right?'

	`Wow,' the red-haired woman says.

	`Yes,' the taller blonde says, and wraps the smaller woman in her
arms.

	`Introductions!  We should do introductions!' the other blonde says,
excitedly, `I'm Anya, and this is Xander.  He's mine.'

	Ranma smiles, `Cool.  I'm Saotome Ranma, the vampire Slayer.'

	`Willow Rosenburg,' the slim brown haired girl indicates the
red-haired woman, `Tara Maclay,' the taller blonde woman, `and I'm Dawn
Summers.'

	`Pleased to meetcha.  So you're the local support net?'

	`Support net?  We're the Scooby gang,' Xander says uncertainly.

	`The western council likes their slayers to work alone,' Cologne says,
appearing at the foot of the stairs leading up to the restricted section.

	`Gyeh!  What's that?'

	`It looks like a Hortense demon,' Anya says.

	`She's my watcher.  Cologne, these are the Scooby gang, Willow and
Tara,' Ranma points with her chin, `Dawn, Anya and Xander.'

	`Scooby gang?'

	`American cartoon, bunch of young adults wandering around in a van
solving "mysteries,"  Scooby was the dog, and probably the brightest of them.'

	`Hey!' Willow squeeks.

	Ranma giggles.

	]So I was there, Cologne and a couple of the others on patrol with the
Buffy-bot, when they did the spell.[

	Red light suffuses the scene, Willow panting, Tara, Anya, and Xander
supporting, Ranma standing guard.  

	The slashes on Willow's arms bleed, and strange round lumps run up her
arms, around her neck.

	`Is that supposed to happen?' Xander asks.

	`She's being tested,' Tara says, worry in her eyes but not her voice.

	Willow drops forward, and a slightly unreal rattlesnake crawls partway
out of her mouth.

	`That's not good,' Xander states the obvious.

	`None of that blood was hers, was it,' Ranma asks, glancing around.

	]CPS training covers a fair bit of magic, mostly the darker stuff, so
that we can recognize the signs of it.[

	Tara stares, and Anya raises her hand, then drops it.

	Willow sits up on her knees, the red light coalescing into a pillar
around her, little pained gasps escaping occasionally.

	The sound of motorcycles approaches.

	A few seconds later several demons on dual-purpose bikes scream around
the corner into the secluded area around Buffy's grave.

	Ranma has a .45 in hand, cocks the hammer, and flicks the safty off
with a single deft movement.  A single shot drops one of the demons, his
disabled motorcycle colapsing in front of his compatriots, knocking most of
them down.

	`Go away.  Now,' Ranma says.

	The demon who had his bike shot out from under him gets to his feet,
several of the others getting their bikes up.

	He scowls, `Why would I want to do that?'

	`Because I'm gonna shoot you if you don't,' Ranma smiles.

	The demon smiles back, and takes a step forward.

	Ranma shoots him, and he falls, a look of surprise covering his face
for a moment before he disolves into a puddle of thin slime.

	`How about the rest of you?' Ranma says, feeling the spell succeed
behind her.

	The demons charge, most of them back on their motorcycles.

	She shoots those first, holstering the gun after nine shots, and draws
her katana, the steel blade gleaming in the moonlight.  The final three demons
chose the better part of valor, and flee.

	She turns back to the others, `You can stop chanting now, you've
succeeded.'

	Willow just stares at her, but the red light gutters and dies.

	`You didn't bring a shovel, did you?'

	`What?' Willow asks.

	`We'll need to dig her out, she's under here,' Ranma kicks the grass
over Buffy's grave.  With a quick movement she sheathes her sword, and starts
across the grass.

	`Where are you going?' Tara asks.

	`There's a backhoe near the back.  I'll be back in about a minute and
a half,' Ranma answers, slotting a clip into her .45, working the slide, then
changing it for a different one before gently lowering the hammer and putting
on the safty.  She holsters the weapon and leaps, disappearing almost
instantly.

	Willow stares.

	`Now that,' Anya says, `Is a Slayer.'

	`Should I be jealous?' Xander asks, only mostly joking.

	`Yes,' Anya says, uttterly straight-faced.

	]I really hope this was her idea of a joke.  Xander sure didn't like
it, though.[

	The backhoe trundles between the graves, waits while Willow and Tara
gather the mystic supplies, then backs up to Buffy's grave, and Ranma spins
the seat, putting the legs down with unseemly haste, moving the bucket before
they are even completely set.  She digs quickly, somehow managing to dig up
six feet of dirt in three strokes of the shovel.  The forth presses against an
edge of the coffin, and she rips it open, then sets the bucket to one side.

	`Buffy!' Willow calls, in tears.

	Ranma jumps in the hole, somehow not getting her scabbarded sword
cought, and throws the shattered piece of casket-top out of it.  She gathers
the disoriented girl in her arms, her nose wrinkling at the musty smell of her
casket, then leaps back out.

	`Hey,' Buffy says, `That being buried alive dream just sucked,' she
smiles, `But the being rescued by a pretty girl part is nice,' and she plants
a sloppy kiss on Ranma's lips.

	`Sorry,' Ranma tells her, `But it isn't a dream.'

	Buffy opens her eyes again, and her nose wrinkles at the smell of her
dress, `Sorry,' she says, `I don't normally go kissing girls I've just met.'

	`It's fine,' Ranma smiles, `I'm Ranma, the new Slayer.'

	`New Slayer?  What, I died again?' Buffy says, scowling.

	]Yes, you really said that.  Hey, _I_ thought it was cute.[

	Ranma sits at the table, her hand palm up as Buffy examines it
carefully, intently.

	`So the resurection was successful?' Cologne asks, leading her party
inside.

	`Yep,' Ranma says, `Shot ten demons on motor bikes, borrowed a
backhoe.  Actually put it back, this time.'

	`That's good.  They're rather expensive to replace.'

	`Yeah, but I didn't have to replace the last one.'

	`Only because the insurance company decided it had been destroyed by
an earthquake, rather than a pair of martial artists.'

	`Yeah, well.  How was it with you?'

	`Cool,' Dawn says, `I got a couple demons, Spike got a few, the
Buffy-bot got some, and Cologne got more.'

	`Oh?' Ranma looks up at Cologne.

	Buffy looks up at Dawn, still stroking Ranma's hand.

	`I got ten, the "Buffy-bot" five, Spike got three, and Dawn got two.'

	Buffy turns to look at Cologne, and blinks, `Wow.  Your watcher?' she
turns back to Ranma.

	`Yes,' Ranma gestures with her free hand, `Cologne, this is Buffy.'

	`Pleased to meet you,' Cologne smiles, her face somehow managing to
wrinkle further.

	`OK,' Dawn says, `Enough of that,' and presses forward, working
through the little crowd in the magic shop.  She easily takes Buffy in her
arms, and squeezes gently.

	`Hey, Dawn,' Buffy says, `You look well,' and returns the hug, letting
go of Ranma with one hand to do so.

	]You barely let go of me all night.[
	
	`Come on, let's get you to bed, OK?' Dawn says, since Buffy is nodding
off where she sits, cuddled against Ranma, still wearing the black dress she
was buried in.

	`Fine,' Buffy says, `Is my room?' she trails off.

	`Yes, it's still,' pause, `Your room.'

	`Kewl,' Buffy almost drawls the word, then stands.  `Up,' she tells
Ranma, pulling her to her feet.

	`Hey,' Willow says, popping into the room, `Giles says he'll be back
soon, maybe a couple days.'

	`Nice,' Buffy says, pulling a confused-looking Ranma with her past
Willow to the stairs.

	Willow looks crestfallen as Buffy pulls Ranma up the stairs.  She is
still looking at the staircase when the sound of a door opening and closing is
heard.

	`She's latched on tight,' Dawn says.

	`What?' Willow asks, looking cutely confused.

	`Buffy.  She's latched onto Ranma like she's the only good thing in
the whole world.'

	]That was a clue, there.[

	`You going to let me go?' Ranma asks, a bit of a laugh in her voice.

	`No,' Buffy tells her.

	`Oh,' Ranma's voice droops.

	`Don't worry, if you really want to get away, I'll let you,' Buffy's
voice is sad.

	`I didn't say that, but we might want to get you changed.'

	`Yeah, that might be good,' Buffy pushes Ranma back onto the bed, then
curls on top of her, `Later.'

	Cut to Willow and Tara's room.

	`Hey,' Tara says, softly.

	`Hey,' Willow answers, `What if she wasn't?' she trails off, unwilling
to continue.

	`In hell?'

	Willow nods.

	`Then we've probably dragged her out of heaven, or something that
wasn't bad, anyway.  She'll be draggy for a while, if that's the case,' Tara
reaches for Willow.

	`Draggy?' Willow says in a small voice, clutching Tara rather
desperately.

	`Imagine the best morphine-high anyone ever had,' Tara starts.

	`I've been on morphine.  It was nice.'

	`And it hurt when it wore off, right?'

	`Yeah, I was in the hospital.  Angel, well, he was Angelus at the
time,' Willow shivers, and Tara pulls her closer.

	`Now think what it would be like if it lasted five months.'

	`Yeah, that'd make one draggy.'

	]You kept nodding against my shoulder.  That's how I knew.[

	`That what happened?' Ranma asks, softly, stroking Buffy's cheek.

	`Yep,' Buffy says, rubbing her head against Ranma's breast.

	`She's right, it won't hurt later,' Ranma cuddles the girl a little,
`Or it won't hurt so much that it makes it impossible to function normally.'

	`How do you know?'

	`People are resilient.  You can rip your heart into little bleeding
pieces, and feel like it will never get better, but it will.  In a few months
you even go looking for a new chance to tear it up.'

	`This is different.'

	`How?'

	`I was warm, I knew all of my, everyone I cared about was OK, that I
was done, finished.  That I didn't have to fight anymore.  Time didn't matter,
it was just nice.'

	`Sounds just like being with Kasumi,' Ranma tells her, brushing her
cheek against the top of Buffy's head.

	`Who's Kasumi?'

	]That's a doozy of a question.[

	*Crash.  Boom.* The picture above Willow and Tara's bed shakes, glass
exploding away from it, and a short blonde figure appears at the foot of the
bed.

	`What did you do?  Do you know what you did?' the figure says in
Buffy's voice.

	Tara leans protectively over Willow, who stares, appalled at the
figure.

	`You're like children, your hands smell of death.  BITCHES!  Filthy
little bitches, rattling the bones.  Did you cut the throat?  Did you pat its
head?' The figure throws something, which explodes over their heads in a spray
of glass.

	The two hide under the blanket, and one of them squeeks in fright.

	`The blood dried on your hands, didn't it?'

	`Oh my god,' Tara says, softly.

	 `You were stained, you still are!  I know what you did!' the figure
continues.

	Willow leaps up, turns on the light, and the figure is gone.

	`The glass, there's no glass,' Tara states.

	]They came to check on you.[

	Ranma looks up, mouths `She's asleep.'  Both of them are still on top
of the covers, but the comforter has been pulled up and draped over them.
The hilt of Ranma's katana is visible by her left shoulder.

	Willow nods, and the two walk back to their room.

	]I didn't get back to sleep until a little later[

	Tara enters their room first, Willow pausing to shut the door.

	`OK, What in the frilly heck is going on?' she asks.

	`You were dreaming,' Tara says.

	`Right, right,' Willow says, then `Wrong, different brains.  Ranma
heard it, too.'

	Tara looks flustered, walks over and rubs the crystal ball on the
table, the one the Buffy-a-like threw, `Well, what was it talking about?  Did
you understand it?' looking scared.

	`Well, I understood the words, but . . . no,' Willow says.

	A faint rustle alerts them, and they watch a strange blob flee the
room.

	`Th-th-there's something in the house,' Tara says.

	`What, What is it after,' smaller voice, `Is it Buffy?' 

	`I don't know.'

	`That's it, I'm gonna call,' rush to the phone, `I hope Xander's still
up.'

	]The call was short, but established that the critter could travel
very fast.  It hit Anya.[

	`Buffy?' Ranma shakes the girl sprawled over her, softly.

	`What?' Buffy manages after a few moments.

	`C'mon, time to get up.'

	Buffy looks out the window, `The sun's not even up yet,' she says,
disgusted.

	`Five more minutes.  I'da been up half an hour ago, but,' she smiles,
`Let's get you a bath, then I can spar a bit with Cologne.'

	`Lemme spar with you,' Buffy says, suddenly smiling, `I've not had
anyone good to work with for so long,' her smile fades.

	`Maybe.  Bath first, though.'

	`Come with,' Buffy says, quietly insistant as she drags herself off of
the bed.

	`Why?' Ranma says, getting pulled down the hall, her katana in her
free hand.

	`Because,' Buffy says, closing the door behind them.

	`Why?' Ranma says, determinedly looking away, as best she can with
Buffy's grip on her hand.

	Buffy's black dress drapes over Ranma's head, and she gasps, looking
at their clasped hands, then pulling the intact, closed-sleeved, garment off
and dropping it.

	`Because I don't want to let you out of my sight,' Buffy says, softly.

	Ranma turns to look at her, and the camera follows, showing Buffy in a
camisole, the straps just barely sticking over the frame, `Why?'

	`I don't know,' she frowns, then smiles, `Strip.'

	`No.'

	`Yes,' Buffy opens Ranma's belt one-handed, and lays it, with the .45
and ammo, on top of the sword.

	`No,' Ranma says, catching Buffy's hand.

	`Please,' and Buffy turns an imploring look on the smaller woman.

	`No,' Ranma says, then grumbles, `OK.  Horrible person.'

	Eyes closed she strips off shirt, shoulder holsters, grabs her
undershirt, then stops.

	`Oh, you should know something,' and she faces the sink, finding the
knobs by feel, turning on the hot, then sticking her head under it.  She stays
female, dripping warm water on the floor.

	She shakes her head, `Too tense, I guess.  When I'm calm, hot water
will turn me into a guy.'

	Buffy blinks, disbelief replacing the absorbed expression on her face,
`How?'

	`Curse.  I've had it for a long time, since I was sixteen.'

	`Open your eyes,' Buffy says, wrapping her hands about the other
woman's face.

	Ranma shakes her head.

	Buffy leans forward, kisses her softly, `Open your eyes.'

	Ranma does.

	`It's OK.  I'll cope.  I'm not letting you out of arms reach, and you
are going into that shower with me.'

	Ranma takes a look at the tub, finally, `I'd thought I'd seen small
tubs, but that takes the cake.  I'll stay out here, and keep watch, OK?'

	`You won't leave?'

	`No.'

	]That ordeal over, we sparred for a bit[

	Ranma dodges a blurringly fast strike, trails her fingers lazily up
Buffy's torso, then drops under a high kick.  Before Buffy gets her foot back
down, Ranma's pulled the other one out from under her.

	]after breakfast we found the others clustered around the TV[

	Queen Serenity's voice, the camera is placed such that the picture on
the TV doesn't show, `The preliminary investigation is complete.  The loss of
DKAL 256 this evening was an accident.'

	Murmor of dissent from the TV.

	`The passenger in seat 34B had a 20 kilo satchel charge go off.  The
spectrographs and audio data confirm both that it was a Dark Kingdom satchel
charge, and that the deadman switch hadn't been disconnected.'

	A slight hiss and crackle marks the playback of a slightly enhanced
recording, `Stop!  That's a d--'*Boom*

	`I'm afraid that we cannot attribute this incident to malice.
Everyone, please, go over explosives safety with your children.

	`Furthermore, while this cannot be counted as a terrorist incident,
all countries currently harboring or supporting elements of the Al Qaieda
terrorist network should remember that we will not tolerate a third attack.'

	Xander turns from the TV, shaking his head, `They let bozos take
satchel charges on airplanes, but worry about terrorists who've done less
damage--'

	`That's not true,' Ranma cuts him off, her southern California accent
startling again, `Al Qaieda may have done less damage to us, but they've
attacked targets around the world.  DKAL has lost six planes to
explosives-related accidents, but DKAL flights carry hundreds of kilos of
explosives every day.'

	`Why do they let people carry things like that on?'  Willow asks.

	`Queen Serenity is an idealist,' Tara starts, holding Willow's hand,
`and she feels that any infringement of a citizen's rights to arm themselves
as they see fit is immoral.'

	`More than that,' Ranma says, `Any such attempt says that she doesn't
trust them.  If she doesn't trust us, how are we to trust her?'

	`You mean that quote about naked virgins and paranoids is real?'  Dawn
asks.

	`I think so.'

	`Wow,' Dawn pauses, `So did you see any naked virgins?  We know there
are paranoids.'

	`That,' Ranma smiles, `Is a secret.'

	`See!' Dawn rounds on Anya, `I told you there were!'

	`She did not say that!'

	]eventually the conversation turns to the ghosty problem.[

	`So we . . . made . . . this thing?'

	`That's the only choice that makes sense,' Cologne says.

	Ranma's fidgeting, dropping the magazine of one of her .45s, and
clicking it back into place.  The camera focuses in on it, so that, in case
one hadn't noticed before, one can see that it is about an inch longer than
the handgrip, and has a little plastic sleeve on it, tapering up to the size
of the grip.

	The camera shifts to Xander, who is the only person showing a hint of
reasonable unease about Ranma's lackadaisical approach to gun safety.

	*Click**shh**shh**Click*  `So, we made it, how do we either get it to
calm down or kill it?'

	`Calm down?'

	`Stop causing problems.  If it'll stop being horrible, we don't have
to do anything, right?'

	`Right!,' Buffy says firmly, nodding.  She places her hand on Ranma's,
stopping her fidgeting

	`It won't.  It will continue to escalate until it kills one or more of
us.'

	`Well, fuck,' Ranma holsters the .45 with her left hand, reaching
behind her head to slide it under her collar and click the snap to hold it in
place.

	`Where did you learn English?' Anya asks, `You don't speak like a
Japanese girl.'

	`I'm not,' Ranma's lips quirk into a half-smile, `Well, I wasn't.  But
I spent three years in L.A., from four to seven.'

	`What do you mean?'

	`Jusenkyo curse, but the slayer stuff is fuc- messing with it.'

	`Jusenkyo . . .  Jusenkyo . . . OH!  I used that on a guy, oh, four
hundred years ago!  She wanted him to know what it was like to be a woman, but
never to get used to it,' Anya smiles happily at that.

	`Yep.  You don't look like you're 400 years old.'

	`She was a vengence demon for 1100 years.  She can talk your ear off
if we let her, so lets try to keep this on topic?' Dawn asks.

	`Later, OK?' Ranma asks Anya.

	Anya smiles happily, and nods.  Turning to Willow, she asks brightly,
`How can we kill this annoying, homicidal thing you made?'

	`Tara and I found a spell that should make it solid, and then you just
kill it in the normal manner.'

	`Sounds good.  Do we need to draw it somewhere, so you can do the
spell, or will anywhere do?'

	`Oh, anywhere,' Willow says, rather airily.

	`I'll help them, you help kill it once we tie it to the world,'
Cologne says, leaning Yoda-like against her stick.

	`Gotcha,' Ranma smiles.

	`So, how will we find this thing, once it is "tied"?' Xander asks.

	`It should find us,' Ranma brushes the side of her sword's saya
(scabbard) against Buffy, `And then we just need to keep it occupied until
it's solid enough to hit.'

	Ranma stands up, `Come with me?' she asks Buffy.

	`Of course.'

	Ranma slides her sword through her belt, then Buffy grabs her hand,
and they walk out.

	`She's gotten really attached, hasn't she?' Xander says.

	]And yes, it was that obvious, even then.[

	`So, what do you do?' Buffy asks.  `Walking around with a sword, not
normally allowed and all that.'

	`I'm a Child Protective Services Special Agent,' Ranma says, with a
slight bit of pride.

	`Dark Kingdom?' Buffy slows, but doesn't let go of Ranma's hand.

	`Exactly,' Ranma turns, walking backward in front of Buffy, `What's
wrong?'

	`So you kill people?'

	*Piku**Piku* you can almost hear Ranma blink.

	`The whole, "kneel, make your peace" bit.'

	`Not yet, and that only happens when the perpetrator has given up hope
of reform.'

	`What do you mean?  You hear about it almost every week.'

	`There's a lot of us, and a lot of horrible people in the world.  No
one has been run into who can lie to the badge, and even if they could, we'd
probably be able to tell.'

	`Does it work on demons?'

	`And space aliens, and spirit-creatures.  The perp is offered remedial
action, with tighter and tighter controls applied if they keep fucking up.  If
they skip out on their remediation, their options narrow drastically.'

	`But doesn't that leave them free to hurt kids?'

	`That's the problem.  Prison won't fix 'em, and remediation does, most
of the time.  If it doesn't, they have the choice of more intensive treatment,
or . . . ' Ranma trails off.

	`A bullet to the head?'

	`Pretty much.'

	`Let me see this badge,' Buffy says.

	Ranma leads them around a pole as she pulls her badge out the front of
her shirt, and flaps it open, still walking backwards.

	`Double Oh Seven?  Who's idea was that?' Buffy asks.

	`I'm not sure, but it is kinda funny, isn't it.'

	`Yeah, it is,' Buffy says, then frowns, `I'm Buffy Summers,' her frown
deepens, `I'm Buffy Summers.'

	`What do you do?'

	`I was a college student, but since mom died I'm just a vampire
slayer.'

	`How did you die?'

	`I jumped into a gate to close it.'

	`Why did you do it?

	`To rescue my sister, and because it might have gotten me out of being
the slayer.'

	`How?'

	`Dead girls can't be vampire slayers.'

	`So it was suicide?'

	Buffy starts to cry, `Halfway.'

	Ranma stops, closes the badge and sticks it back in the front of her
red, chinese-style shirt, stepping close to the taller girl.  She gathers her
close, `Shh, it's OK.  Shh.'

	`It hurts,' Buffy says, `Everything,' *sob*, `Everything but you,
hurts.  I was so happy.  Everything I needed to do was done.  All I had to do
was,' she pauses, her breath hitching, `be.  Nothing more.'

	`You don't have to do anything for a while, until you've gotten used
to being back.  I can walk you home, if you want?'

	`No, I'll stay,' Buffy stays there, cuddled close to the red-haired
girl, for a long while, then looks up, `Where are we going?  You've been very
sure of your path.'

	`Passed this place yesterday.  Triggered my alarms.'

	`Alarms?'

	`Alarm spells, layed on by the Chief to help me do my job.  Sorta like
how we can sense vampires, I know when children are in danger, or have been
abused, within a certain limited range.'

	`Why limited?'

	`How well do you think it would work if you could sense every vampire
in the world?'

	`It'd be convienient, but overwhelming.'

	`Exactly.  We're here,' Ranma looks up at a house much like all the
others in this neighborhood, `Someone's home.'

	`Who?'

	`Not a martial artist, midling age, not particularly interesting,
other than the way my alarms are jangling.'

	`Male or female?' Buffy asks.

	`Can't tell.  Doesn't much matter.'

	`Doesn't much matter?'

	`Not really.  They're not a threat, unless they've got a gun, and they
don't feel like they do,' Ranma leads the way up the walk, through the
well-kept lawn.

	She knocks on the white door, and steps back to wait, her hands at her
sides.  Buffy stands to one side, and a half-step behind.

	`May I help you?' a twenty-something caucasian man opens the door, a
pleasant look on his face.

	`May I see your left wrist?' Ranma asks.

	`How?' he asks, holding it out, palm up.

	A bar code appears on the inside of his wrist at Ranma's touch.

	`I'm going to record this,' Ranma says.

	`Right,' the young man says, his head drooping.

	Ranma pulls her cel phone out, flips it open, presses and holds a
button, `Chief.  Possible repeat offender, number,' she pulls a pencil sized
object out of the back of her collar, and runs it over the bar code  It emmits
a rapid series of beeps, then she tucks it back into her collar.  `My alarms
went off on the way past yesterday,' Ranma listens a moment, nods, and clips
the phone, still open, onto one of her shirt ties.

	`I'm Dark Kingdom Child Protective Services Special Agent Ranma
Saotome,' her badge reappears, and she tucks it, open, so the badge itself
shows, into the front of her shirt, `Have you done anything that I should know
about since your apprehension in 1998?'

	`Yes,' he says, and nods.

	`What?'

	`I slipped custody in early 2000.  I thought I was all better, and
didn't need anyone to watch me anymore,' he pauses, `I was wrong.'

	`What happened next?'

	`I set up here, got a job, tried to date, the usual stuff.  About a
year ago the fantasies started again.'

	`Fantasies?' Ranma prompts, when he doesn't continue.

	`That if I could just find the right little girl, she'd make me
happy.'

	`I take it it didn't happen like that.'

	`No.  Last fall I picked up a little girl in Phoenix,'

	`Phoenix, Arizona?'

	`Right.  I brought her home, showed her off as a relative's kid, put
her in school,'

	`And no one noticed?'

	`No.  I'd told her that I was her mother's brother, and I just wanted
to see her for a while, and that while her mother was OK with it, her father
couldn't find out, or he'd beat me up again.'

	`And she bought it?'

	`She did, for a while.  After a few months, though, just having her
wasn't enough, and I kept wanting more.  So I took her back, stopped at her
parent's house, and let her out.  She waved goodbye, and ran inside, and I
drove off.'

	`What else?' Ranma asks.

	`A month later I went to south-central,'

	`LA?'

	He nods, `and picked myself up a pretty little black girl.  I didn't
bother with a story, just snatched her.  A tiny bit of ether, and she was down
for the count.  I tucked her under a blanket in the back seat, and when I got
her I just carried her in, still wrapped.  I kept her inside, but otherwise
treated her well, and she really seemed to like it.  After about a month,
though, I couldn't help myself, and started touching her.  Then I made her
touch me.  After about a week of that, I lubed us both up and raped her,' he
looks distraught, `She wouldn't stop crying, even after I washed her up.
Something had gone out of her, and it pissed me off.  So, before I could do
something horrible to her for it, I drove us back to LA, albiet a nicer
neighborhood, and stopped outside a police station, and told her to run inside
and tell them what had happened.  She looked scared, but went when I told her
to go ahead.  I stayed until she walked in the doors.'

	`Anything else?'

	`Nothing that I actually did, only things I thought about.'

	`What were their names?'

	`Sally Johnson and Rochelle Watson.'

	`What do you want to do?  We can either put you under constant
supervision while you attempt rehabilitation again, or if you don't think you
can keep yourself from doing it again . . . '

	`I don't think I can.  I thought I could, but,' he shakes his head,
`Look what happened.'

	`Are you sure?  Would you like a lawyer or psychologist to help with
your decision?'

	`I had both, last time.  No,' he shakes his head, `Let's do this in
the back yard, it'll scare the neighbors less.'

	`Lead the way,' Ranma tells him.

	She follows him through the house, and out the back door, Buffy
trailing along behind.

	He stops in the middle of the back yard, fishes out some keys, `Lock
the door when you leave,' he says, handing them to Ranma.

	`Right,' Ranma drops them in a pocket, `Kneel,' she tells him, drawing
one pearl-handled automatic from the back of her collar.

	He drops to his knees, sitting back on his heels.

	`Make your peace with your gods,' she tells him, then pulls the hammer
back with her thumb.

	He bows his head for a moment, then nods.

	`Look up.'

	He raises his head to look into her eyes.

	She brings the .45 up, not quite resting the muzzle on his forehead,
and places her thumb on the safety.

	He nods, just a bit.

	The hollowpoint bullet puts a neat, round hole in the front of his
head, and blows most of his brains out a much larger, rather ragged hole in
the back.  This happens off-camera, to save on the special effects budget.

	Ranma reaches down, and closes the corpse's eyes.  Standing, she
undoes one of the ties on her shirt, reaches in, and pulls out a box of
bullets.  She shakes one out, puts it between her lips, and puts the box away.
She drops the magazine, thumbs the round into it, and slaps it back into
place, then puts the safety on.

	`I think I'm gonna puke,' she says, putting the pistol away.

	Her cel phone whispers something.

	`Yeah, I think you're right.  Bye.'

	The phone whispers a little more.

	Ranma closes it, and puts it back on her belt, tucking her badge away
with her other hand.  She looks over at Buffy.  

	The camera follows, revealing Buffy for the first time since she
walked out behind Ranma.  She has one hand to her mouth, and is just staring,
her eyes wide.

	`'Scuse,' Ranma says, then walks quickly over to a flowerbed, and
vomits into it.

	Ranma has her hands on her knees, pauses a moment to breathe, then
another jet of vomit forces it's way up.  She takes a shuddering breath, and a
slender hand pulls her braid up, out of the way.

	`Shh,' Buffy says, `It'll be OK.'

	`It's so much easier when they're trying to kill you,' Ranma says,
then vomits some more.

	]That was the first time I'd had to do that.  In case it didn't show.[

	`Officer, he's dead because I put a forty-five caliber hollowpoint in
his head.  Check with Child Protective Services if you want confirmation,'
Ranma tells the man calmly.

	The police had arrived about the same time as Ranma began to get
herself back under control, and promptly surrounded them, guns drawn.

	They were still there, although the guns were now pointed at the
ground.

	`Why did you do that?'

	`May I pull out my badge?'  Ranma asks, her hands still held out, away
from her body.

	`Go ahead.  No sudden movements,' he warns.

	`Right,' Ranma reaches slowly into her shirt, pulling out the leather
case, which she flips open.

	`Whell, fuck,' the officer says, holstering his gun.

	The other four look at him, `Bob?'

	`It's real.  McClure,' one of the other officers looks over, `Call the
DKCPS hotline, and make sure.'

	The other four holster their guns, and one heads back to the cars.

	`Who was he, and what did he do?'

	`Winston Charmichael, repeat perpetrator, kidnapping and molesting
little girls.'

	`Killing them afterwards?' Officer Bob asks.

	`No, actually.  He'd dump 'em various relatively safe places,' she
shakes her head.

	`What's wrong with these people,' Officer McClure returns, `She's
legit.  He wasn't bad looking, good job, nice house.'

	`I don't know,' Ranma looks a little grim, `If we did, we wouldn't be
shooting them.'

	`Welcome to Sunnydale, Agent -- ' Officer Bob trails off, waiting.

	`Saotome.  Saotome Ranma,' Ranma smirks, just a little bit.

	Officer Bob looks at her badge again, and stifles a snort of laughter,
`Who gave you that number?'

	`The chief.  I think she's got a rather sick sense of humor,' Ranma
folds her badge back into it's case, and puts it away again.

	`What?' one of the other officers asks.

	`Double-oh Seven,' Officer Bob turns back to Ranma, `These are most of
the day shift, so,' he points to one of the officers, `This is Officer
Maldonado,' shift, `Officer Zamora, Officer Krovitski, and Officer McClure.'

	They each raise a hand in greeting.

	Officer Bob continues, `We'll let the rest of the department know
you're in town.  Between you and Summers, there, you'll make our lives a lot
easier.  Good luck,' with a final, awkward wave, Officer Bob leads them out of
Charmichael's back yard.

	Ranma and Buffy follow.

	Officer Bob is already on the radio, `We need a coroner.  Dead perp,
DKCPS dealt with 'im,' pause, `Apparently the hellmouth rates a Special
Agent,' pause, `No, I don't know why, either.  She might be a little green,
but she'll be a good thing,' pause, `See you when we get back.'

	]And that was my introduction to the . . . oddity of the Sunnydale
PD.[

	`I can't believe it!  They knew about me!' Buffy is almost yelling, as
she confronts the rest of the Scooby Gang.

	`That would explain why none of us have been arrested yet,' Anya says,
calmly.

	Buffy turns and stares.

	`Think about it, we wander around at all hours of the day and night,
carrying swords, crossbows, and other melee weapons, and don't even dress in
archaic clothing.  In most places, we'd have all been arrested a dozen times
each week.'

	`What do you mean?'

	`I mean, in LA, not five years ago, they busted a man for concealed
carry when he had a sword, in its scabbord, on his hip!  They're really rather
insane, most places,' Anya says.

	`Um, why do you know that?'

	`The local SCA group.'

	`Who are?'

	`A couple months ago I saw some people in funny clothes walking around
with swords, and followed them.  They're sorta like historic re-enactors,
but they do the middle ages as they "should have been".  Much more fun,' Anya
smiles.

	Tara smiles.  Willow looks a little confused, and Xander starts to
question Anya quietly.

	Buffy just slumps back against Ranma, who holds her lightly.

	]After a bit, that broke up, and the witches went off to do their
stuff.[

	Ranma smiles, `Yeah, I'm a little cautious about cats,' she says,
squatting down in front of a stray, her heels on the ground.

	`Why?' Buffy asks, kneeling next to her.

	Ranma pets the calico with slow, controlled movements, `I was trained
in a technique called the neko-ken, or cat-fist.  Nice, simple technique, easy
training, a few side effects, but it's rather difficult to utilize.'

	`Oh?  How does it work?'

	`When I'm using it I feel no pain, no fear, I'm faster, more flexible,
and have these neat little ki-claws.  It's sorta a beserker state, though, and
I only come out of it after I've had a chance to fall asleep.  I also think
I'm a cat, and have some difficulty recognizing appropriate targets, so I
sometimes end up playing too rough with my friends.'

	`And your enemies?'

	`Bloody messes.  Haven't killed anyone in it yet.'

	`How do you do it?  Do you need to concentrate or something?'

	`Bask in my terror of cats until I snap.  It'll only take a little
while if a cat's scratching at me, or longer if there's not one around.'

	`Terror?'

	`Yeah, to train someone you gather up a bunch of cats, put 'em in a
pit or something where they can't get out easily, and don't feed 'em for a
couple days.  Then you wrap the trainee in fish sausage, or other food that
cats like, and throw them in.  Repeat until the trainee learns.'

	`That's horrible!'

	`Nah, it was easy.  Hurt a bit, but I was expecting it, so it wasn't
that bad.'

	`How old were you?'

	Ranma is rubbing the cat's belly, and she is batting at Ranma's hand
with her back feet, her front paws wrapped around Ranma's wrist, biting
playfully, `Nine or ten.'

	`Who was teaching you?'

	`My father.  One of his more useful bits of training, probably.'

	`Wha-?' Buffy starts, then turns, rising to her feet.

	Ranma spins the other way, standing easily, the .45 off her pistol
belt and in her hand, the hammer clicked back and the safety off in the same
motion.

	`So,' Ranma addresses the apparition, `Do you still want to fight?'

	The white ghostie just smiles, and backhands her across the face.

	Ranma counters with a perfectly executed left hook, which passes right
through the ghostie.  She jumps back, safes and holsters the .45, and draws
the katana as she lands.

	Buffy growls, and tries a kick.  It is about as successful as Ranma's
punch.  The ghostie hits her, a straight punch to the gut, knocking her back.

	`Over here, girlie,' Ranma taunts.

	The ghostie turns, and this time Ranma blocks the blow with the edge
of her sword.

	The ghostie draws back, rubbing her hand, then vanishes for an
instant, reappearing behind Ranma.

	Ranma starts to turn, but the ghostie strikes first, knocking her
accross the street.  She curls, landing slightly awkwardly, the sword
hampering her movements as she keeps it off the asphault.  She gets to her
feet easily, a little blood dripping from her left hand and forearm, her
sleeve slightly shredded.

	Buffy yells, `Ranma!'

	]Meanwhile, the witches were hard at work[

	Cologne is watching while Tara and Willow chant, gratuituous colored
lights indicating that something is going on.

	After a few moments Willow's head drops back and she declares, in a
firm, loud voice, `Solid!'  Her eyes are limpid black pools.

	Cologne closes her eyes and rests her brow on her staff.

	]Then you ripped the not-so-ghostie's head off[

	Buffy hits the ghostie lightly.

	The ghostie stumbles.

	With a smile, Buffy grabs the ghostie by the hair, and slams her head
into the ground.  It hits with a meaty *thump*.  Buffy grabs her under the
jaw, plants a foot firmly on her back, and twists hard, decapitating the
ghostie with surprisingly little fuss.

	`Good job,' Ranma says, touching bloody fingers to Buffy's cheek.

	Buffy drops the ghosties head, and takes Ranma's arm in her hands,
brushing the blood around on the unblemished skin, `How?'

	`One of the Nekoken side effects.  I heal really fast.  I healed fast
before Nekoken training, but faster after, and much faster now.

	]Then there was the sacrifice to deal with.[

	`I think she'd prefer if you didn't come along,' Ranma tells Buffy
softly.

	`Come along where?' Willow asks.

	`We need to deal with your sacrifice from yesterday.'

	`Deal with?' Willow squeaks.

	`I can feel it -- you didn't clean up properly.  We're going to go do
that, and maybe bring the leftovers back for dinner.'

	`Oh, that's why,' Buffy says, in a gentle tone, `It's OK, Will.  I can
deal,' and takes Willow's hand in hers, `Let's go.'

	`Are you sure?' Ranma asks Buffy, slipping her sword back through her
pistol-belt.

	`I'm sure,' Buffy gets to her feet.

	]Willow wasn't, but she led us to where she made the sacrifice
anyway.[

	Willow walks gingerly, `It was around here,' Buffy keeping a firm,
gentle grip on her hand.

	Ranma closes her eyes, `Yep.  Blood magick, and close.  It's pretty
clean already,'

	`I asked for a sacrifice,' Willow says softly.

	`Yeah, that feels right, but then you dropped the ball,' Ranma says.

	`How?'

	`He was willing, but you scared him, you dumped his body,' Ranma
catches Willow's other hand, `And you spilled not a drop of your own blood.'

	`That's important because?' Buffy asks.

	`Scaring it was just careless,' Willow looks to Ranma for
confirmation, `It muddled the energies.  A little bit of appeasement should
patch that,' Ranma nods at her, `I didn't want to freak out the others, so I
left the body to rot, but there's nothing around to eat it anymore, around
here, so that said that I didn't appreciate the value of the sacrifice,'
another glance at Ranma, and another nod, `And even a token amount of my own
blood would have saved me pain by showing my personal commitment to the spell,
so I wouldn't have been tested as hard,' again Ranma nods.

	`How do you know all this stuff?' Buffy asks, `Why don't I know all
this stuff?'

	`CPS.  Blood magick is often done with unwilling donors.  That can
improve the yeild, but it isn't something we want to encourage.  We deal with
blood mages who do that sort of thing like we do rapists.'

	`Bullet to the head?' Willow asks, with a gulp.

	`If rehab doesn't work.  We need to know the different sorts of magick
by feel, and the costs and consequences.'

	`And if you know all of this, why didn't you do it?' Buffy asks
Willow.

	`'Cause I was in a hurry, and dumb, and scared, and not thinking.'

	No one speaks for a little bit as they continue walking, Willow
leading again.

	`Was this the sacrifice,' Buffy breaks the uneasy silence.

	`Yep,' Ranma drops Willow's hand, and pokes the fawn's corpse with her
fingers, `Good, little bloated, but still quite edible,' she plops herself
down at about south-south-east of the body.

	Buffy sits down about a third-circle from Ranma, and Willow settles at
north.

	Willow takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and reaches for the
other's hands.  Everyone clasps hands, and Willow starts chanting in Welsh.
Red light swirls around the three women for a long moment, then slowly fades
to green.  With a final, gentle word, she stops, and bows her head.  After a
little while she gives the other two a squeeze, then drops their hands.

	`So, do we clean it first, or take it home as-is?'  Ranma asks.

	`We can clean it,' Willow says.

	`Good,' Ranma rolls up her sleeves.

	Willow notices the slightly torn right sleeve, and the bloodstains,
for the first time, `What happened?'

	`Ghostie was batting me about.  Landed badly.  Shame 'bout the shirt,'
Ranma kneels next to the small corpse, and turns it away from her a bit before
slicing it's belly open.  A small puff of gas and rotting innards escapes,
then Ranma extends the cut.  Quick, sure motions strip the skin back, then
Ranma guts it, strips out the other organs, skins, and dismembers the
former creature.  She bundles the meat, heart, and liver up in the skin.

	She hands the package to Willow, `It may drip a little, but you're
wearing black, so it should be OK.'

	Turning back to the small pile of deer-parts, Ranma claps twice, and
says something softly.  `Let's go.'

	Willow leads, holding the dressed deer gingerly.

	]Dinner was a little odd.[

	The whole crew is gathered around a table, with Cologne at the head,
Ranma to her right, and Tara to her left.  Buffy is to Ranma's right, followed
by Dawn, Anya, Xander, and Willow.

	Ranma is eating the bean stew with chopsticks, left handed, her right
hand occupied by Buffy's.  Everyone other than Cologne is spending about as
much time watching Ranma as they are eating.

	`Is no-one else going to finish their venison?' she finally asks in
exasperation.

	`It tastes funny,' Dawn complains.

	`It's deer.  Tastes just like it's supposed to,' Ranma complains.

	`Cologne?' Dawn turns to the old woman.

	`Ranma's right.  It's perfectly edible.'

	`That's not quite the same thing,' Dawn objects.

	`You should have seen some of the things we used to eat, when I was a
little girl.  Pull it down, scrape the mold off, cook it up, yum,' Anya says
with a smile, `This is almost fresh.'  She cuts herself a bite and eats it.

	`See!  I told you it was funny!' Dawn proclaims.

	Buffy sqeezes Ranma's hand so hard her knuckles turn white.  Ranma
winces, and Buffy relaxes her grip.

	`Look!' Willow starts, loudly, `I should have brought it home
yesterday, but I didn't.  We need to eat it to show our appreciation of the
sacrifice, so stop whining.  If you're not going to eat it, offer it arround.'

	`So you killed it?' Dawn asks.

	`Yes.'

	`Oh,' Dawn says, and cuts herself a small bite, douses it in 57 sauce,
and eats it.


	
---
log:
2002/Jul/25:	started plotting this evil thing
2002/Jul/27:	wrote the first almost five hundred lines ^^;
2002/Jul/28:	Hundred and fourteen more ^_^
2002/Jul/31:	half an hour more.
2002/Aug/4:	quite a bit more
2002/Sep/14:	edited a little to make way for more.
2002/Sep/18:	added a bit.
2002/Oct/5:	added a bit to the middle, changed some more.
2002/Oct/6:	Watched S6E1 again, fixed a little ^_^
		I've found my S6 tapes, so I'll be watching them soon ^_^
2002/Oct/13:	S6E2, plus a new North Korea bit (which was earlier, but I
		forgot to log ^^; )
2003/Mar/22:	Little bit more
2003/Apr/2:	Little more.
2003/Apr/3:	little more.
2003/Apr/7:	More, over the last few days.
2003/Apr/10:	more.  copied up, since I don't think I did, last time
2003/May/20:	12 real lines.  Bah.
2003/May/31:	Nice bit, before the dinner scene, which I may cut.  Hmm.
2003/Jun/12:	little more, at the JSA
2003/Nov/11:	Minor appeasments.  Done with S6E2 ^_^  S6E3 sooner (I hope!)
2004/Sep/2:	Tiny edits
2005/Jul/25:	Tiny edits, reread, in Kuwait again, on my way out of Iraq,
		this time.