#include <stddisclaimer.h>

	GENOM presents
	A Hopeful Discordian production of
	A St. Suika Roberts not-film

	Sailor Moon 1/6
	episode 5

	The camera looks down upon a girl with a flower broach, who swoons
boneless to the ground.

	The camera shifts to a health spa, where grey-faced women are
trickling out the door.

	Finally the camera shifts to Ranma, who is busily drawing.

OP: same, once again.

	I glance up from the paper, note the time, and start cussing under my
breath.  At least the next two months worth of _Intersection_ are done, so I
won't have that for an excuse not to do my homework much longer.  I shake my
head, annoyed, then gather my school bag, unopened since I brought it home the
day before.  It's not like I actually need to do the algebra homework, I
already know it.  Doesn't help my grades, though.

	`Good morning,' I greet Akane.  She smiles back at me, her bag held one
handed.  She sets it down next to her as she settles at the breakfast table.

	`Good morning, did you do your math homework?' she asks, a hopeful note
in her voice.

	`Nope, looked it over during class yesterday, though.'

	`What's number 14?'

	`14?  The three variable one?'

	`Yep.'

	`What'd you get?'

	`Z is 12, Y is six, and X is two.'

	`Think you lost a sign there.'

	`Thanks,' Akane nods, turning her attention fully to Kasumi's wonderful
breakfast.  I hold my bowl out for seconds, and Kasumi smiles at me before
serving more.

			SM 1/6

	I walk the fence in a bit of a haze, wondering what the Dark Kingdom
has been up to the last week, since I hadn't heard of anything that sounds like
an attack.  Baamu-kun, it seems, learns just as fast as Molga-kun, which was
quite a surprise.  I had thought such rapid learning would be a rare trait, as
it is with humans, but.  My new students are liable to surpass me before much
longer, and it is a little scary.  It took me most of my life to get to this
point, and they have caught up in mere days.  

	Manken should be fun, though, so I pick up my pace a little, eager to
show off my copy of "NewType", complete with both the first part of
_Intersection_ and a write-up about it, mostly fluff about me, but a little bit
of real commentary.

	After a little bit, I get to school, and drop down, walking towards
class.

			SM 1/6

	`I don't like it,' Naru-chan tells me, `Haruna-sensei just collapsed
in class this morning.  Three girls, all of whom had their letters read on
Midnight Zero,'

	`Midnight Zero?'

	`A show on channel 21, radio, at midnight.  They got these pretty
broaches, and then they collapsed.  Nothing strange about the broaches, but
when they got taken off, they got better.'

	`Oh dear.'

	`Yeah.  You seem to be able to contact Sailor Moon, so . . . '

	`I'll let her know about this.  Anything else?' I ask, for she still
has that concerned feel to her, the one that always makes me feel good when I
can make it go away.

	`Shapiro-sensei is starving herself to death or something.'

	`What?'  Shapiro-sensei is from Britain or someplace, and really
pretty, a little plump for her own taste, but lovely by any objective measure.

	`She started going to this new health spa, and she's just turned into
a stick.'

	`Gimme the address, and I'll look into it,' not that I'd admit to
having a horrific crush on the poor woman.  Not publicly, anyway.

	`Here,' and Naru-chan writes it down for me.

			SM 1/6

	`Oh, hey, before it gets forgotten, I have my copy of the January
"NewType"!' I crow, preening a little as the whole circle gathers tightly
'round.

	Someone's breast presses against my back as they lay their head on my
shoulder.

	Purple hair drifting into my eyes suddenly tells me who's hair it is.

	`Shanpuu!' I spin in her arms, and indeed it is her.  I almost faint
from happyness.

	She kisses me, and I let everything else fade, Manken, the whole
Sailor Moon thing, the magazines I've just dropped on the floor, the Tendou
situation, everything but the lovely girl caressing my tongue with her own.

	After a little while the rising murmor becomes noticeable when Shanpuu
breaks the kiss.

	`Wow,' Mako-chan manages, sounding a little stunned, `She is as pretty
as you said.'

	`Isn't she though?'

			SM 1/6

	`What have you done since I saw you last?' Shanpuu hasn't let go of me
since she arrived.

	`Not much,' I reply, `My father sprung a fiancee on me, I'm back in
school, I've turned out to be some sort of reincarnated magical warrior for
love and justice, and my fiancee has a girlfriend of her own, and seems to be
some sort of ancient ally.'

	`Impressive.  All I've done is wander home, fight off a few Chinese
military types, then turn around and come here as fast as I could.'

	I raise an eyebrow.

	`Three days to the Korean coast, half a day to swim over, a day of
sleep in a nice cave on the coast, and now I'm here,' she hugs me tightly.

	`I'm sure you could have gone faster,' I tell her, mock-chiding.

	`Yeah, but I really wanted a nap before I started my swim, so I hopped
a freight from Inchon, and then had to backtrack a bit,' she smiles, letting me
know she knows I'm teasing.

	Everyone else takes this as a cue to come up and hassle the new girl.

	Shanpuu is soo cute when she's flustered.

			SM 1/6

	`What are you up to?'

	`Found out that there are agents of the old moon kingdom's enemies
attempting to take over the world, and stealing life-energy from people to
support the habit.  They seem to like this area the best, so I've got a couple
things to check out this afternoon.  You could come with me, or not, as you
wish.'

	`Fighting evil is a good thing.  Need to meet your mother, too.'

	`After we check out this health spa place.'

			SM 1/6

	It looks bad.  One expects healthy people going in and tired people
coming out, but not this.  The people coming in aren't in bad shape, but most
have a starved look to them.  The ones coming out look like they've been in a
concentration camp, perhaps one of the ones in Siberia.

	`What is going on?  Why people coming out look worse than those going
in?'

	`It's a "health spa", a place where women, and occasionally men, who
are too lazy to be martial artists go to pretend and starve themselves into a
more "attractive" shape.  They play with the equipment, drink expensive water,
eat expensive food, and attempt to get high off the mess they're making of
themselves.'

	`Ai yai yai.  This is normal, then?'

	`No, this is a little worse than normal.  I think it's a front for the
energy-stealers.'

	`What do we do, break in and kill everyone who looks like they work
there?'

	`No, that's overkill, and wouldn't work.  The baddies would run before
we could get them all.  I think we just walk in, talk to people, and see what
they can tell us about it.  I think we'll find what we need to pretty quickly.
The baddies seem to rely on the fact that people don't want to see them and a
tiny bit of magical disguise.'

	`OK.  Boy-Ranma or Girl-Ranma?'

	`Girl, easier,' I start towards the door, `coming?'

	She takes my hand with a smile.

			SM 1/6

	I run into Jadite again.

	The minions fall quickly enough, most of them under some sort of
mind-control that breaks when their little headbands do.  Jadite gets through a
portal before I can reach him.  For the first time since I learned how to use
them I want a gun.  Even if he's bulletproof it should be fairly shocking, the
first time he's shot.

	Shanpuu destroyed the energy-sucking equipment, and might have gotten
Jadite with a thrown dagger, the gate closed before I could tell where it hit.
Shanpuu says it didn't, though.

			SM 1/6

	I walk up to the fence "protecting" the local, well, somewhat, anyway,
JGSDF base in the gathering dusk.

	`Where is the armory?'

	`Right over there, behind that big ugly building.  It's in the basement
of the low ugly building behind it.'

	`And we can just walk in, pick up what we need, and walk out again?'

	`Yep.  They don't worry about a little shrinkage, and the martial
artists and gun-nuts help keep things from getting out of hand whenever there
is another alien invasion or whatever.'

	`Ah.  Let the skilled warriors fight first, and only then call in the
unskilled soldiers if they haven't won yet.'

	`Probably.  Basicly it means that if we come over the fence and pick
the locks, they won't try to shoot us.  If we go through the fence, and smash
our way in, then they'll shoot at us.'

	`Is good setup,' Shanpuu says, then jumps over the fence brushing her
fingers over the razor wire, just lightly making it shake.

	I don't bother touching the razorwire.

	Shanpuu leads us on a quick sprint across the compound, past a couple
of patrolling young men.  One of them starts to say something, so I glance back
and see his partner shaking his head as he talks to him.

	The door into the armory picks easy, scrubbing open in less than
fifteen seconds.  I lock it behind us, and open the door on one of the handgun
rooms.  It takes a little longer to pick, maybe fourty-five seconds.

	After examinging the locked cabinets for a few moments, I open one,
which takes the cute little tubular keys.  I pull out a Colt .45 automatic,
check it quickly for wear, and stuff it into whereever my henshin pen stays.
Another one joins it after I put one back as too worn.

	I turn to Shanpuu, `want one?'

	`Got a handgun I know, already.'

	`How many rounds?'

	`Four, five hundred.'

	`What size?'

	`Nine millimeter luger.'

	`OK,' I contemplate picking out another .45 anyway, then lock the
cabinet.

	The door takes a minute to get to lock, and I lead the way to the next
room we're raiding, the one with the older machine guns.  It's lock is so loose
I almost don't have to pick it.

	I pick the cabinet fourth from the door, gratified to find that it is
still full of B.A.Rs.

	`What's that?' Shanpuu asks as I check the action on the first one.

	`Browning Automatic Rifle.  American light machine gun, 30 caliber.
Favorite weapon of the Barrow gang, who'd steal them from National Guard
Armories.'

	`Barrow gang were who?  And sort of like us, then.'

	`Nah, not much like us, they were a buncha bank robbers.  There were a
bunch of them, Clyde Barrow and his girlfriend Bonnie Parker being the core of
the group, and the others sorta wandering in and out, and I don't think there
were ever more than seven of them at once.  Rather incompetent, all told.  Shot
a buncha people,' I put the B.A.R. away, contemplate the cabinet for a moment,
then close and lock it, `didn't steal all that much money, raised a big ruckus,
and got shot for it.  Probably if they'd avoided shooting cops they'd have been
ignored more.'

	`That's not good.'

	`No, but it's the way things seem to work in the U.S.  They all were in
and out of jail quite frequently,' I lock the door into the room, then turn to
Shanpuu, `You've got a rifle, right?'

	`An AK-47 and an ancient Japnese bolt-action.'

	`Ow,  what size ammo does it take?'

	`7.7 mm.'

	`I think they've got some here,' I pick another look, and the smell of
ammo washes over me, brass and steel and gun-oil and decaying paper.  I snitch
twenty ten-round magazines for the .45s, and twelve twenty-round ones for the
B.A.R.  Moving to the ammunition itself, I pocket twenty boxes of .45
hollowpoints, fifteen boxes of wadcutters, and six thousand-round cans of 30-06
armor-piercing.  I glance over the newer stuff, and notice something
interesting.

	Five boxes of .45 ammo labeled as ".45 ACP DU APFSDS".  I open one, and
it seems that that is just what it is.  I pull another four magazines from the
box, check the spring action, and then feed them full, mostly emptying the box.

	I close it, and put it back, then turn to Shanpuu, `7.7mm, right?
It's probably in the back.  The 7.62mm stuff is over here,' I lead her over,
and pocket the cans of ammo she passes me.

	The 7.7mm isn't as old as I thought it would be, and I pocket a couple
hundred rounds of it, too.

	The 9mm luger is harder to find, but I finally find a few boxes hiding
under some .38 special hollowpoints.

	I close the door, then open it again and dart inside, putting another
dozen B.A.R. mags in my pocket.

	I close the door again, and lock it.

	As I lock the outer door, Shanpuu asks, `How did you know where
everything is?'

	`Kusooyaji brought me here, must be six years ago, we picked up some
.45s, a B.A.R., a .50 machine gun, and a few other things.  Oyaji took me out
to the hills, showed me how how to clean a gun, take it down, put it back
together, that sort of thing, then spent a day or so showing me how to shoot.
The next few days were spent on live-fire sparring,' I rub my arm, just under
the point of my left shoulder, `And oyaji tought me what he wanted to teach,
which is that it really, really,' I wave to the guards, `really sucks when
one's gun jams and one expects it to work.'

	`That how you got shot?'  Shanpuu leads the way over the fence again.

	`Nope, didn't dodge fast enough.  Didn't think oyaji could get that
.50 to track that fast, since he was firing it from a sling.  Didn't even
notice until after I'd kicked him in the head a couple times, and taken the
.50 away from him.'

	`Wow.'

	`Yeah, it was kinda bloody.  I managed to bounce a roundpoint off the
top of his head, so I figure we're even.'

	`Didn't see scar.'

	`Yeah, I put the bandage on him, did a good job, didn't I?  Kinda
didn't bandage my arm, though, so it's a little visible,' I rub it lightly.

	`Looks nice, like warrior.'

	`Thanks.'

			SM 1/6

	`So, this is the station that they broadcast `Midnight Zero' from?' I
look up at it.

	`Seems that way.'

	`Sun's down.  Roof across the street?'

	`Good,' I stare for a moment, pleased beyond compare by the sight of
her.

	She waves me up from the roof, and I finally shake my daze and follow
her.

			SM 1/6

	`Blondie just showed up,' Shanpuu says from the roof edge.

	I pack the graphite away, playing with the spring on the last of my
B.A.R. mags, which still doesn't feel right.  Jadite talks with the guard a
moment, picking up the basket of mail he indicates.

	`Follow?'

	`Yep.'

	`Want to watch your pretty butt this time.  Lead way,' Shanpuu orders.

	`Hai,' I drawl, wiggling my hips at her, then leap to the ground, a
mere eight stories down.

			SM 1/6

	`And our first letter tonight is from--' CRACK! A single round from the
B.A.R. cuts him off.

	I smack him upside the head with the gun's butt, and step on him.

	The Youma is quite upset by this, and charges me.  Shanpuu smacks her
upside the head with a bonbori, and she drops, mildly stunned, the control
spells broken.  I make a note to look at her bonbori a little more.

	`Now, Jadite of the Dark Kingdom, you are going to tell me what this
whole bit is about,' I smile at him, then glance up as my blonde bangs
distract me.  He tries to take advantage of this, so I shoot him again, in the
other arm.  The spells are holding up remarkably well.

	`Queen Beryl would . . . ' he shuders, and doesn't continue.

	`What, kill you?  I might do that.'

	`No, worse.  And if she doesn't Queen Metallia is capable of even
worse still.'

	`And she's the one you're trying to revive?'

	`Where did you . . . '

	`Some of the earlier youma were gloating when I showed up.  So talk.'

	`I can't.'

	`If you do, I'll protect you.  If I can't, I'll kill you before you
fall back into their hands.  How does that sound?'

	`I can't.'

	`Shan-chan, could you break his leg?  The fibia should heal easiest,
if I remember right.'

	`Sure,' the bonbori smacks reasuringly against her hand.

	`I don't know much!  We're gathering energy to resurect Queen
Metallia, about four times what any of these schemes would yield, I don't know
how to get to the Dark Kingdom, I can only open the gate, not direct it.
Queen Beryl wants to rule the world.  I don't know what Queen Metallia wants
with it.  That's all I know!  Just kill me!  Please!'

	I look at Shanpuu, who nods, `I think we could protect you.'

	`The recall spell.  If I don't check in, I will be dragged back, and
punished.  I've failed, and there is no way that I could recover now.  My only
chance is to die before I can be recalled.'  The spells are old, and strong,
old enough that the cold iron isn't effecting them much.

	`Cover me,' I tell Shanpuu, then, when she has her pistol, an actual
Luger Parabellum, in hand, I put the B.A.R. away.  I kneel next to Jadite, and
feel for the spells, and poke them firmly, pressing the cold iron sewn into the
gloves firmly against the spell, feeling it sag under the strangness of it.  It
holds, and I press harder.  Jadite whimpers, and the spell strengthens again.
I sit back on my heels, contemplating spell-crackers.

	Jadite gives a frightened gasp, `She's calling me.'

	I whisper, `I'm sorry,' lean forward, and break his neck with a single
quick twist.

	He disolves into a swirl of greenish light, leavng behind nohing at
all.

	`Bring the other?'  Shanpuu asks, indicating the youma.

	`Yes, can't leave her here,' I glance around the room again, noting
that the green blood has disappeared as I make sure we leave nothing
interesting behind.  I pick up the second .30 case, and glance at the cute
little round holes, one into a concreete pillar, the other into the concrete
floor, both with a little spash of lead left at the bottom.  Nothing to be done
about those.

	And we walk out, leaving the microphone on.

	
[Ed, same as before]

Jikai!
	Sailor Moon gets a rest?  The Dark Kingdom in disarray?
Or is it merely that her new foe is more cautious?

-

[the guards from earlier]
G1:	look, I think we could have taken them!  They stole two
	pistols, a B.A.R. and twelve thousand rounds of ammunition, but they
	were just a couple little girls!
G2:	Those are the worst kind.  You saw how they jumped the fence!  if they
	wanted to, either of them could have killed us both before we could
	get our guns ready.  If they are the honorable sort, they'd leave if we
	asked them to.  If they aren't, they'd just kill us and take what they
	want.  Did you notice how they locked the doors after they left?
	That's what the good ones do.
G1:	I still don't get it.  Why do we let these martial artists get away
	with this sort of thing?
G2:	Because we can't stop them, and are probably safer with them out
	there, and armed if they want to be.  Think about what they stole,
	too.  Was it all .45 and B.A.R. ammo?
G1:	No, they got 7.7mm, 7.62x54R, and 9mm luger stuff too.
G2:	Why would they grab that if they don't have guns for it?  And don't
	say because they don't know any better because they grabbed four
	clips, and only four clips, worth of that depleted uranium stuff.
	They knew what they wanted.
	Nope, the rules are right.  If they come through the fence, shoot
	them.  If they try to bribe their way in, report them.  If they jump
	over the fence, let them take what they want, and count on their Honor
	to keep them out of too much trouble.
G1:	Damned way to run an army.
G2:	Yeah, well.

				     *-*
---
Log:
Not sure, but soon after I decided that working more on 4 wouldn't fix it
anytime soon:		started.
1999 Nov 7:		log added, continued.
2000 Mar 25:		added a paragraph ^_^
2001 Jul 15:		Another paragraph!  I write just ever so fast, don't I
			^_^
2001 Oct 24:		finished draft.

2001 Nov 1:		fixed a couple little bits.
2002 Jul 27:		edit
2010 Jul 10:		Tiny edits.