-*- mode:text; fill-column:79; -*-

#	include <stddisclaimer2.h>

	GENOM presents
	A Miracle Discordian production of
	A St. Suika Roberts not-film

	Sailor Moon 1/6
	episode 1

	The OP starts, the familiar strains of `Moonlight Densetsu' over the
familiar shot of Sailor Moon running.  The rest of the animation, however, is
a mix of Ranma 1/2 OP footage, Sailor Moon OP footage, and a good deal of new
animation, just full of spoilers up to and including the middle of the season.
But I've a lazy bump, so I won't describe them ^_^

				    SM 1/6

	Oyaji's face and voice are stern as he speaks.  `You must go back to
school while we are staying here.'

	`Ah, come on, do I have to?'  I pout at him cutely, hoping to egg him
into deciding that we will need to stay for at least a term.  He swats me into
the pond.

	`Yes.'

	`But what if I'm not ready . . . '  I trail off as he shoves my bookbag
in my face.  I thought I'd had it stashed somewhere that he couldn't find it.
I've spent too much energy on keeping it together to let him trash it in one of
his `you need nothing but the Art' rants.

	`Fuurinkan, right?'  I try to keep the exultation out of my voice.

	`Right.'

	`Ittekimasu!'  I realize after I say it that I've not put adequite
effort into keeping my voice calm, but oh well.  'Tisn't to likely he'll pull
me out on the first day of school after I've started, and he's too generally
lazy to stop me after I'm on my way.

	Just to be sure I bound out of the yard over the wall, then run around
a block and up the street parallel to the one I'd normally follow.  After about
six blocks I go over the roofs back to the street that runs in front of the
Tendou home.  I skip along the fence-top, glad to be back in school at last.
The bridge is just too tempting, so I drop onto it, skip across, the 20 cm
width more than adequate.  I bounce to the opposite wall, start back to my own
side of the canal, glorying in both the warm fall morning and the fact that I
will be back in school soon.

	`Myaak!' something yells from under my foot, so I shift my weight to
the other one, realizing a split-second too late that there is nothing under
that foot.  I catch myself, turn a neat somersault to disguise my clutzy
behavior, hit the street feet first, and look up at whatever I stepped on.

	`Shippo ni sumimasen, kuroneko-chan,' the black cat licks her tail
dismissively, but claws a bit at the adhesive bandage on her forehead, `Bansoku
hagashitte?  Wakatta.'  Having pulled far too many bandages off myself I pull
quickly, and the cat's eyes water in a way I know, like the crescent-moon on
her forehead, should be familiar.

	`Chikoku shichau yo!'  Akane walks past the bridge, hardly slowing,
annoyance obvious in her voice.

	`Ja ne,' I tell the cat before taking three steps back.  Two steps and
a quick grab of the fence-top later I drop to the street behind Akane.

	`Why're you angry?' I ask while I straighten up from my landing.

	`You!  You're rude, inconsiderate, immature, and to top all that,
you're a guy!'  She's staring; it was only a twelve meter leap; oh, she's
staring at my chest.

	`Not at the moment,' she has the grace to blush but keeps staring, `I
work on the others when I can; Oyaji considers them "unmanly."'  I smile at
her, and she notices enough to smile back.  Goddess but she has a pretty face
when she does that.

	`True,' she acknowledges, `Why does he think that?'  Akane has started
walking again, so I follow along.

	`I don't know; probably something like the reason he didn't tell me
until yesterday that I've been engaged since before I was born.'  I make the
`Oyaji no baka' face.  She doesn't appreciate it, having her back turned to me.

	`Why are you still like that?'

	`It bugs Oyaji.  I picked up a lot of my mannerisms because they bug
him.'

	`Like what?'

	`For the longest time I wouldn't even refer to myself with "boku," and
when I was feeling especially annoyed with him I pretend to be all fussy about
my hair and use "atashi,"' she takes her breath in sharply and turns to look
at me, walking backwards, `It's true, I was younger then, about this,' I wave
my hand at about breast-level, `tall and soft-faced.  Oyaji never couldn't
stand getting compliments about his cute daughter.' the memory makes me smile
again, `I also first joined manken 'cause I knew it'd bug him, even if I had
to tell him it was so I could be around all the cute girls.'

	`Why'd you stop?'

	`Manken?' she shakes her head, `Using atashi?' slight nod, `I met
someone really cool.  You know of Ten'ou Haruka?' she nods again; I wonder for
an instant what would have happened if she didn't know of her.  `Well, a while
ago while I was food gathering,' Akane looks over her shoulder at me
quizzicly, `Well, it can't really be callled shopping as a large portion of
it is looking female, cute, and hungry.  I was standing outside an ice-cream
parlor when she tried to chat me up.  I'd been chatted up by guys before, and
I've pretty much figured out how to back guys off without having to hurt them,
but I let her try.  I'd thought she was older than me, so when I found out her
age I didn't protest her hand sliding up my thigh.  That put a rather blunt
end to her attempt to get to know me romanticly.'  I sigh softly, for she is
really cute and extremely butch.

	`I got a kiss and a friend out of it, though.  It's probably a good
thing that Oyaji didn't get to meet her, as he has some intense ideas about a
woman's propriety.  As of the last letter I got from her she has a steady
girlfriend.'

	`Ten'ou Haruka's a man, right?'

	`Nope.  She passes pretty well, though.'

	Akane checks the inside of her right wrist, noting the time.  `Che!'
she snorts, breaking into a run.

	I keep pace, join the battle inside the gate, although I wonder
greatly about the sanity of the other participants.  After a few seconds of
listening to Akane break bones and dislocate joints we're done, the mob
reduced to a groaning mass, the ones I'd gotten too out cold, but otherwise
undamaged.

	A brief surge of joy floods me as I catch a red rose from the air,
crashing suddenly as I look up at the person who threw it.  The young man in
Kendo garb, although I don't know who I was hoping for, isn't it. `Dare?' I
ask Akane, pointing at him with my chin.

	`Atashtachi no sempai, Kunou Tatewaki.  He caused this mess when I
refused his offer of a date.  Made up some story about how I could only date
someone who beat me in combat first.'  Options flitter through my mind, and on
the third time I realize what they mean.

	Then I walk up to Kunou, `Tatewaki-yaro, I've just been informed you
have been harrassing my iinazuke.  Is this true?'  Kunou steps back, and I
step forward, staying in his personal space, fully confrontational.  He keeps
retreating a few more steps, smacking up against a tree in a totally
undignified manner.  `I'll take that as agreeing that you have been bothering
Akane.  Let me put this simply: Our first fight will be our last.'  Kunou
jerks his head once in acknowledgement, then flees when I step back, walking
away almost too fast.

	`How?'  Akane begins, but is cut off by the beginning of school bell.

	Standing in the hall a couple moments later I stare at my right hand,
the bucket's bail across it's back, dimpling the flesh lightly.  `How did I
manage to back Kunou off without getting him infatuated with me or killing
him?'  I feel more than see Akane nod, `I've seen the type before, convinced
they are better than everyone else.' Is it my imagination or is the
bail-dimple shallower?  Just a little,  `All one needs to do is convince them
that one is even higher than they are, a lion or tiger or god or something.'
On the subject of learning, why wasn't I afraid of that cat this morning?
Even thinking of cats generally sends a chill down my spine.  I'm glad Oyaji
only had access to house-cats or I could have real problems.

	The teacher pokes his head out the door, `You both need to do these,'
he says, holding out a pair of papers.  I pull my hand out from under the
bail, catch the bucket, then take them, handing one to Akane.  I set the
buckets down, dig out a pen, *it doesn't write, had to put another ink
cartridge in* smile at the quote that popped up, and set to the quiz.

	I dislike English a good deal, but it doesn't entirely quench my
enthusiasm to be doing school stuff again.

	`How do you think you did?'

	I look at my paper; out of twenty questions, I'm sure of five,
hopeful about one, and completely clueless on the rest.  `About a twenty-five,
unless I guessed better than I expect.'  She looks at me, mouth flopping in
something that looks like `how.'

	`I've always been good with numbers, and my friend Ami-chan from
mid-school helped me a great deal.  After she found out that Oyaji really
could care less about my grades she started bitching me out whenever she
thought I was doing less than my best, and helped me along when my best wasn't
good enough.  I really abhor English, though, and I rarely do better than
this without days of study beforehand.'  I contemplate my paper for a moment,
`Maybe going off like that let some of it sink in.  Or maybe not.

	`Oyaji won't care, or will spout something about the sacrifices one
makes for the Art.  Ami-chan will say something about it being a marginally
good sign that I pulled such a grade on my first test in six months, or she
will hide her head and mutter ``Nijuugo Ten?  _Nijuugo Ten_ desu tte?!'' and
then glare at me.'  I glance at my paper again, aggrivated, `I really hate
English particles, though.  Who cares if it's "a," "an," or "the?"'  I shake
my paper, then tap the door.

	The sensei lets us in with ill grace, obviously annoyed.  Everyone
exchanges papers and the grading is quickly taken care of.  I'm mildly proud
of my 30%, especially  when I find that Akane, with the highest score in the
class, only pulled 55%.

	The bell rings, the sensei leaves, and the rest of the day passes in a
blur of new faces and old information.

				    SM 1/6

	`Ne, Akane, I'm going to Juuban to visit my old Manken, would you like
to come with me?'

	`Maybe later, I promised Kasumi I'd return a book she borrowed.'

	`OK.  We'll probably end up at the Crown ge-sen, so If I'm not still
at Juuban Chuugaku I'll leave a message there, ii ka?'  Akane nods and I
bounce happily, hug the larger girl, and run off taking to the rooftops.

	`Ami-chan, Naru-chan, Mikiko-chan, minna ohisashiburi wa ne!'

	`Ranma-chan!  I though you said you'd gotten too big?'  Ami-chan
greets me with a hug.

	`Yep.  In China there is a place called Juusenkyou, where Oyaji threw
me into Nyanniichuan.'

	`Spring of drowned girl, how apropos!'  Ami-chan smiles, `What did
your old man turn into?'

	`A giant panda.  Unfortunately the effect isn't permanent, hot water
deactivates it.'  I make a sad face, `I'da shown up in male form, but my voice
has changed and I picked up sixteen centimeters.  I've also discovered that
Oyaji engaged me to a girl I'd never met before either of us were born, but
that's a different story.'

	I look around at the sea of faces, `What's happened around here, and
where's Mako-chan?'

	`She said she'd be a little late; some kid's mother wanted to talk to
her.  She broke the little punk's arm,' my concern must have shown on my face,
`don't worry, his mother is grateful she took him down a notch before he got
into real trouble, and there were a lot of witnesses who could confirm that
she gave him a number of chances to give up before he got hurt, and he
didn't.'

	I look at Naru-chan, wanting more details, `He was picking on some
first-year kid, not for the first time.  She told him to back down and leave
the youngling alone.  Then she stepped up to the `leave now or I'll tear you
into little bitty pieces' schtick on him.  Apparently he'd heard that she
hadn't taken anyone down in months, so he pressed on.  She told him it was his
last chance to settle this peacefully, and then he pulled one of
those stupid little razor knives.  She took his knife and told him to stop
being stupid.  He of course jumped her, she put him in an arm lock and told
him to stop fighting or he could break his arm.  Stupid punk pulled his feet
up, thinking she'd drop him, and kicked her hard.  I guess he didn't notice
that she hadn't let go when he pulled his feet up.  His arm made a nasty noise
when it broke, too.'

	Kino Makoto, Mako-chan to about all of her friends other than her ever
expanding fan-club, to who she was Kino-sempai, had been my friend ever since
she pulled me from in front of an oncoming car a few years earlier.  I helped
her learn techniques for avoiding fights and with the paperwork to transfer to
Juuban without getting kicked out of her old school first, and she helped me
improve my cooking skills.  I had pretended to enjoy cooking for so long that
by the time I met Mako-chan I actually almost did, and now do.  She learned
techniques with me, helped think up new and better ways to annoy Oyaji, and
treated me as her little sister.  I smile at the memory of when Mako-chan
discovered I was a boy.

				    SM 1/6
	`Ne, Ranma, why does your father call you "boy" all the time?'

	`Because he wants to emphasize how much I need to learn.'

	`But why "son?"'

	`I thought you'd figured it out.  I mean, you figured out Naru-chan is
interested in you, and she didn't even let that slip to me.'  I cup the back
of my head in my hand, `I'm a boy.  A long time ago I realize just how much it
bugged Oyaji when I got read as a girl, so I worked on it until I started
passing all the time.  I avoid public baths, I use the womens toilet because
I get funny looks in the mens, and the last time I was in one I was almost
raped.  I broke the guy's nose and left knee, then fled.'

				    SM 1/6

	I let the rest of the conversation fade, look at Naru-chan, `So how is
Mako-neechan's kawaii sempai-chan?'  I waggle my eyebrow at her in my best
Monty Python manner, eliciting a giggle from everyone who's seen Ami-chan's
tapes.

	Naru-chan blushes, `Pretty good.  We've gotten my parents turned
around on the matter, what the teachers don't know can't hurt us, and both our
grades have improved since we've started studying together.'  She puts just
the faintest emphasis on `studying,' which I think is a nice touch.

	`Who're you talking about me to?'

	`Mako-neechan!'  I throw myself into her arms hard enough to knock
weaker people over.

	`Ranma!  What happened?  That's too much development since I last saw
you to be HRT, so . . . '

	I let her go, take a step back, `In China there is the training ground
of cursed springs, Juusenkyou.  While training there Oyaji knocked me into a
pool of drowned girl,' I make a dramatic "see?" gesture down my body, `after I
knocked him into the pool of drowned panda.  I'd be overjoyed if the curse
was stable, but it flip-flops with hot and cold water.'  Mako-chan and the
others make the appropriate regretful noises, which makes me feel a little
better. `And to make it even better Oyaji tells me that he engaged me to the
daughter of a friend before either of us were even born.  I wouldn't mind too
much, but I kinda proposed to this Chinese Amazon,' the noise level in the
room suddenly goes up, so I get to explain all about the trip to Nyuchiezuu,
Oyaji eating on the prize, catching Shanpoo's bonbori,

				    SM 1/6

	I walk around to the front of the table, take a look at the sign, and
feel my heart drop down about six centimeters.  I can't read all of it, but I
manage to make out `prize,' which gives me an inkling of the kind of trouble
I'm in.  The guide is babbling about very bad, terrible, awful, eat prize for
winner.  Oyaji perks up at that, shoves me forward into the girl, who scowls
at me and leaps onto the log.  I guess I'm commited and leap up after her,
adopting a relaxed stance.  She attacks, a great broad strike that I dodge
easily, sweeping her hand to one side as I slip in close to her, stroke her
cheek, and dodge back out of range again.  The crowd roars and I slip back
some more, leading her to me.  I strike her wrist sharply as she charges,
making her drop one of the bonbori, then pull the wrist to my lips and kiss it
before leaping away again.  She turns to face me, the crowd yelling happily,
and I bow to her.  She smiles, advancing carefully, leading with her
weaponless hand.  I wait for her, confident that she'll try something
different this time, and she does, bringing the bonbori up in a straight low
strike.  I palm it, transfering most of the shock to her hand, at the same
time I lean forward and kiss her on the lips.  The crowd goes silent, then
starts screaming excitedly.  The bonbori slips from her fingers, bouncing off
the log on the way to the ground.  Her arms wrap around me, but I don't feel
threatened, and she begins to stroke my back lightly.  I relax into the kiss,
a warm glow suffusing me.

				    SM 1/6

	The room fills with sighs, and I continue,

				    SM 1/6

	Oyaji apparently ran off while I was fighting her, so a little bit
later we are sitting together, the food being shared by all the villagers, her
great-great grandmother translating for us.  After a few moments I figure out
something important happened, and then I get it explained.

	By kissing the girl before either of us was defeated I'd proposed
marriage to her,

				    SM 1/6

	a few scattered gasps from the assembled,

				    SM 1/6

	and her responce meant she was willing to consider the idea.  I was
somewhat shocked, but the idea wasn't all that unattractive.  In a fair fight
she stood about an even chance of beating me, she was very pretty, and she
seemed quite taken with the idea.

	Then we got to the sticking point; parental approval.  I knew that
Oyaji'd sell me for two good meals and a promise of a third, but he didn't
count; even if they were appalled that a mother would let a man take her child
for a ten year training trip without visiting, I had to ask her permision.
Once asked I could chose to ignore her refusal, but I had to ask her.

	So we cooked up this story that I was given a `kiss of death' and
Shanpoo was chasing me about trying to kill me.  This gave us time to be
together, her a chance to see the outside world, and saved us the trouble of
Oyaji's hassling.

				    SM 1/6

	`She went home when we got to Pusan, and I need to find my mother so
that we can ask her permission.  She'd have come with us, but I've no idea how
long it will take to find my mother . . . '  I trail off as everyone turns to
look toward the back of the room.

	A woman who looks much too much like me walks forward.

	`Who are you?'  I ask, unusually polite.

	`Saotome Nodoka, dear.  Your mother.'  The room sways, but I manage to
avoid looking too much like a beached fish.


				    SM 1/6

	The theme from the ed song starts as we fade to black, then shift into
a commercial.
	After we come back from the commercials the ED proper starts,
`YapppaPa' over what looks, at first glance, like the `Heart Moving'
animation.  A woman with long Odango'd hair sits silhouetted by the moon,
staring into a lake by a tree.  The song progresses, the woman stands, her
dress blowing transparently, and is joined by another woman, dressed in what
looks like a billowy pantsuit.  A moment later a man in a cape and top-hat
walks in from the right, stopping almost at the middle of the screen, his cape
blowing in the wind as the two women look at him and the song ends.

---
Log:
Planning began right after I first read _Sailor Ranma_, and realized that some
elements of the plot pointed places I didn't want to go.  That was about six
years ago.
1997 Q4:  I wrote out the first episode, and didn't much like it.  I passed it
to a couple people who indicated that they wanted to read it, but didn't do
much with it otherwise.
1998 Q1:  I lost a hard drive.  Of course, it had my un backed up /home on it.
1999 Feb something: wrote up the first episode again.
1999 April 18: added title block, minor fixes.
2002 July  27: editted a little
2010 July 10:	Tiny edits